Therapy has taken a turn on me, and I didn't really plan for it to go that way. I've spent so many years going in and talking/complaining about the NOW, that I've never had time to talk about the THEN.
Apparently, the THEN has caught up with me and I can't escape it. THEN comes in the forms of dreams. Very accurate dreams, that don't turn my THEN into some unnatural, surreal thing. No... THEN is very real and while some of the people float in and out, and the details change... it's spot on.
And I wake up feeling like shit.
It's sapping all of my emotional energy out of me. My days are spent wrapped in a cocoon on my bed. I stand up, wrap my purple, fuzzy comforter around me, and fall to the bed. The almost perfect protection.
The evenings, I'll open my doors and the kids will pop in and out. My husband (T) knows not to bother me much. (Some day, I'll talk about the 3 1/2 year plan.)
When it's finally time for bed, I take my Ambien & Xanax and drift off to sleep until THEN comes to visit me again and again and again...
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