Destructive Behavior in What Is This Thing Called Life?

  • March 3, 2014, 1:11 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I have been pretty much clean and sober for almost a year minus the occasional weekend nights that I go out with my friends and have a few drinks no more hard drugs anymore or black out nights. I now know how to suppress urges and how to control myself and I know my limits now. For a period of two years when I was attending high school I was on a very destructive path which attracted my addictive personality. It was a very dark place in my life and it took getting over at the cost of losing a lot of friends, going through a pregnancy and adoption, many relapses of an eating disorder, multiple suicide attempts, and getting put on probation. I am not proud of my past but it is something I always have been open about in hopes that others would learn from my experiences as well.

So today my sister comes into my room explaining that she has something to tell me. Here we go I thought to myself as my stomach dropped. I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant, instead she asks me for drugs. As an older sister I try to look out for my younger sibling who is only 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. She is very well aware of things I have been though. Iv'e sat down with her balling my eyes out telling her stories of things I used to do. And yet she still asks me for drugs.

I am extremely disappointed to say the least not only at her but towards myself as well. I am the oldest and I set certain examples too. I also shed some disappointment upon our mother as well. She has already been through this once with me so you would assume she also learned from parenting mistakes, but no. She lets my sisters boyfriend spend the night all the time. Wile my sisters grades are falling. And my mother refuses to take my sister to a doctor to get birth control. If my mother doesn't snap out of this soon or if both of them don't gain some sensibility soon I'm going to fucking lose it.


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