Mother never told me how hard love would be. The small gestures we deem as "red flags" we often time see too late. The eager thirst of wanting to feel needed clouds our judgement of real or true love. I am perplexed to the utter most of how to understand what the sould needs. I am just a simple woman and yet the simplest of men cannot understand me.
I want to feel desired but often time try to sheild myself away from those who can see me. I want someone to understand and nurture the real me, and yet when I see them catching moments of my real idenity I hide. Its a strange paradox this heart of mine. My hands miss the simplicity of school boys chasing you during recess. My body aches for that simple lust I felt for the boys in high school-naive to how hurtful they can be. I miss being young and in love.
After the years I would love to say I am wise beyond my years and have learned a great deal from all my past relationships. But that would be a flat out lie. I am no wiser now than i was at the beginning. I am actually worse, at least in the beginning I wasn't tarnished and reluctant to get hurt again---I still had hope 10 years ago.
So mother what advice would you like to give me after the latter. Why on earth didn't you warn me about these silly men. I know---I bet if you would have I would have never allowed myself to open up. And to be honest.....today.....today I really wish I never did. Some memories are just too strong....and today they are getting the best of me.
Loading comments...