First want to say that something is going a bit crazy here as it shows one of my readers left her signature 32 times. :) oops. Just got off the phone with dad. He has been talking about doing an application for the VA nursing home for a very long time and the social worker at the VA hospital gave us a packet to fill out for the application. To say that was a waste of time is a total understatement and my nerves are about shot. My brother called them to ask them some questions for Dad, which they did. Now he has more questions and is putting off doing the application which we already know can take over a year for them to have a room for him. IF they would call him and tell him he was accepted and they had a place doesn't mean he would have to take it and they would just put him back on the waiting list. Now he is worried they wouldn't let him have his vehicle up there at the nursing home. I tried to explain that if he did have to go to the nursing home, he probably wouldn't be driving his vehicle anyway. No comment on that little tidbit nor an acknowledgement. He said he might want to go fishing and if he didn't have his vehicle he couldn't go when he wanted to. He can't go now when he might wants to either, but that's a mute and another point he refuses to acknowledge.
He has decided that he know wants to be buried at the Veterans cemetery instead of the cemetery where my mom is buried. I am heart broken that he doesn't want to be laid to rest next to mom. I'm also fighting a rage of anger at this decision but it is his decision and I know that truthfully and really it doesn't matter where you're buried after your dead, but it is the lame excuse that us kids wouldn't have to pass by his grave on a routine basis. Hog wash!! Mom and Fred are buried in the same cemetery so whether he is buried there or not does not change the fact that we have loved ones buried there. I'm just so crushed at this decision and at this point I have no desire to even go to the burial at the VA cemetery when the time comes. I just don't get it and never will. He had me spends hours and hours and days and days getting the pictures of him and mom when they were younger to be engraved on the head stone he ordered when mom passed. I am sure that the "blank" spot next to mom when dad is gone will be much more painful to deal with and a forever reminder that he choose to be buried away from her. Am I being too sensitive? Maybe, but right now, I could cry and sob. I've already done a bit of screaming outside, and that didn't help a bit. Prayer appreciated cause I still have to help care for him, whether I'm hurt and mad or not. God Bless and Thanks for allowing me to pour my heart out here.
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