" Fear makes strangers of those who would be friends." Shirley Maclaine
When I first heard this term and an individual's explanation for it, I thought "Holy shit! This is me!"
Googling it came up with a different explanation, but I'm stealing the one that fits me, because I don't know how else to explain it.
I have horrible social anxiety. I spent years not leaving my house, not participating in my elementary aged children's activities, etc. The anticipation of going to any event can throw me into hysteria.
What's odd, is that when an event is over... one that included a group of people... I am usually damn proud of myself. I was comfortable, witty, a good conversationalist. I had actual fun.
Then it dawned on me. My issue is mostly based on two or one-on-one situations. Having to worry about keeping up a conversation, about saying something wrong, is petrifying. Even lunch with just my sister or brother is something I avoid. I will turn down or back out of invitations for things like this.
I wish a group of women would just adopt me and let me be their 4th or 5th wheel. I don't care if I don't know them from Adam, as long as there are enough people for the attention to be divided.
I moved to NC 7 years ago, and I haven't met one new, true friend yet. And yes, it's my fault. I'm just not capable of being a singlet.
Bring me some Ya-Yas. Even if they're other people's Ya-Yas.
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