“When we push academic success at such an early age, not only do our children lose valuable time to play and learn through osmosis, but we unintentionally put “smart” on a pedestal, high above “kind,” “selfless,” or “compassionate.”
One mom recently told me, “When I walk into a parent-teacher conference, I push all the papers aside, and say, ‘I don’t want to know about grades. I know their grades. We can fix grades. I want to know what kind of person they are when they aren’t with me. I want to know if they are kind. I want to know if they play with the lonely kids at recess. I want to know if they sit with the lonely kids at lunch”
I did not write the article I just quoted but I love it. Of course like any parent, I want my child to do well in school. Meaning, I want to know she is trying as hard as she can in school. Does that mean she will get perfect grades all the time? No. It doesn’t. Because test scores and grades do not mean everything. Every child is different. Some kids struggle with quizzes and tests. Some kinds do not comprehend something they read. Some kids struggle with math. Does that mean that they are not smart? No. It does not.
My daughter struggles with focusing. She has difficulty with reading comprehension. She also has ADHD so she learns different than other kids. She refuses to let her ADHD limit her. She is a very bright kid. She just looks at things differently. She is the girl who takes everything literally. She marches to the beat of her own drum. She may not pull the honor roll but that doesn’t mean she is not a smart kid.
I know she struggles in school. She may always struggle with certain things. But I always tell her that as long as she is doing her best, I will always be proud of her. I am always told by her teachers, coaches and leaders that she has a big heart, she always shares, she helps everyone in the class, she includes everyone and she is nice to all the kids. I am so proud of her for that. I am happy to have a kid who is happy and loved and true to who she is. And as long as she does her best in school, that’s all I can ask of her.
https://herviewfromhome.com/lets-care-more-about-our-kids-being-kinder-not-smarter/
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