I've decided to create a 30 Question Challenge. A list of 30 questions to answer, either on a daily basis or at the beginning of each entry (I'll be doing the latter as I don't write every day, other than during NoJoMo). Feel more than free to steal and do this challenge! Here is a list of the challenge questions:
- What's the meanest thing you've ever done/said to someone?
- If you could have an hour long conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would you choose and what would you hope to gain from that conversation?
- Do you have post-death plans made (funeral, burial/cremation, etc)? What's the plan?
- What's the story behind one or two of your scars?
- What's the best advice you've ever received?
- What's the first thing you think of when you wake up for the day?
- Do you follow a routine in the shower? If yes, what's your routine?
- What is your definition of love?
- Explain, to the best of your capabilities, an inside joke you share with a friend(s).
- What do you believe happens to us after we die?
- What are your ideal sleeping conditions?
- Describe your parents' relationship.
- Do you believe in luck? Why or why not?
- What do you think about the death penalty?
- What do you think about abortion?
- What do you think about gay marriage/rights?
- Describe a quirk or two that you have.
- If you had a "1 Free Revenge" card, meaning you could get revenge on one person in ANY way, shape or form and NOT be punished for it, who would would you use your card on and how would you exact your revenge?
- Are there any lyrics from a song or a quote from a movie that has special meaning to you? If yes, what is the lyric/quote and why is it special to you?
- If you had an unlimited budget, how would you change your living space?
- Tell us 3 random facts about yourself.
- Has something life changing happened to you in the last year? If yes, what was it? If no, what do you wish would happen and how you hope/think it would change your life.
- If you could go anywhere in the world, money is no object, everything is included, where would you go and why? What would you do while there?
- If you died but had 24hrs. to spend on earth as a spirit (ghost, whatever), what would you do and how would you make someone aware of your presence? How/why would they know it's you?
- You've won a contest and the prize is your dream date. You can choose anyone you want, who do you choose (and why)? You can do anything you want, cost is no factor, what would you do?
- What is your opinion on suicide?
- Who was your last phone call from and what did you talk about?
- If you could eat only one thing for the next 5 years, what would you choose?
- Did you have an imaginary friend when you were younger? If yes, describe him/her/it and your relationship.
List 5 things in your house that have sentimental value and why they have value to you.
What's the best advice you've ever received?
That would be a quote of Buddha's, "Live in the now". I found that that specific quote resonated deep within my heart and soul. Too often we dwell on the past, worry about the future, when really, we should focus on what's going on right now. Sure, it's okay to recall memories that are special to us and it's even okay to think about the future (such as making short and long term goals, like I'd like to lose 10 pounds in the next 2 months), but really, it's important to not let those memories and/or worries take over our lives and prevent us from enjoying the here and now. Even if you're going through something unpleasant, you'd do yourself a favour by dealing with it as it's happening.What's the first thing you think of when you wake up for the day?
"What time is it?!" - with the hope that it's as close to 8am as possible. Geno goes to pick up my meds from the pharmacy every morning. He wakes up at 8am, leaves the house around 5 after 8am, gets home anywhere from 8:35am to 8:45am. Once I've got the first dose of Dilaudid in my system, I'm good to go.
The pain is bad, my Frank, the pain is so bad and has been since yesterday evening. All due to the abscesses (more on those shortly). Not only do the abscesses hurt like hell, but I can't sleep in a comfortable position at night, which means my lower back and the spot where your neck meets your shoulder really really really fucking hurt. Geno felt really bad for me last night as I was on the bed, close to tears because of the pain. He suggested that maybe I go to the hospital, but I shot that down. There's a chance it'll happen on Thursday anyway when I see my Dr. It's completely possible (and probably very likely) that he'll see the 8 abscesses and insist that I be admitted to the hospital, even if the majority of them will have been ruptured/drained (by me, at home - with the assistance of my wonderful hubby, Geno). Anyway, last night I was in so much pain and nothing seemed to be helping. Geno had some Tramadol (opiate painkiller) and offered me one. I was so desperate, I would've tried almost anything at that point. It actually helped (and even knocked me out for about an hour, from 8-9pm). I took a 2nd one when I took my regular nightly meds at 9pm and I was out cold by 9:30pm. I slept until 7:45am, almost 12 hours! I did wake up a handful of times throughout the night, but that's nothing new. It was just incredibly frustrating because, as I said before, I could not get comfortable. The only 2 positions I could sleep in were on my back and propped a little bit to the left. I usually sleep on my side, but much more forward than last night. However, because of the 3 abscesses on my left side, I couldn't get into my usual side sleeping position. And when I'm on my back, it's killer to my back and as soon as I move, even just an inch or two, it's agonizing. I couldn't sleep on my right side because of the abscess on the right side of my right thigh as well as one on the right side of my right calf. Made it impossible to sleep on my right side. I'm a creature of habit. I like being able to sleep on both sides, it's the most comfortable position for me. And when I can't do that, it makes for one grumpy Sarah!
Speaking of abscesses, I've got 8 of 'em on the go right now, in different stages. One was ready to be ruptured/drained yesterday, so I did that around noon yesterday. Then today, 3 were ready for rupturing/drainage and I managed t do those 3 myself as well. Now, I just have 2 on my left upper thigh, 1 on my left knee and 1 on my right forearm. The 2 on my thigh, one of them is super close to being ready, I might even be able to do it later tonight and the second one (super close to the bigger one) will likely be ready in 2-3 days, same as the one on my forearm. The one on my knee, it appears like it could be ready, but I've had abscesses fool me before, so who knows! I may try later tonight when/if I attempt to rupture/drain the one abscess on my upper thigh.
So, about my title today. "In sickness and health...", obviously marriage vows. Geno and I exchanged the standard/traditional non-religious vows. It's only been in the last year that we started taking them seriously. Regardless of the fact that we don't really believe in "marriage" (you may recall that we were forced to marry with 2 days notice). Before we moved into this place at the end of April, we went through all the boxes and shit in the storage room, figuring out what we wanted to take with us and what could be left behind. In one of the boxes, I came across the little memorial pamphlet we got at our first little wedding, March 17th, 2003. I put it in a "Keeping" box and when we unpacked, I found it again. I decided to read through it and I got a little misty eyed, particularly at the section that states our vows. Some of it was crossed off, obviously, since we didn't want any religious tone to our wedding (Geno being atheist and me being Buddhist). I brought the pamphlet out to show Geno and he, being a typical male, "Yeah yeah, cool", lol. But it really hit met that I am so grateful that we now actually believe and follow those vows, taking them seriously. It's no secret that I've been sick since the beginning of this year, for 8 months now, and when I think of all the love and support I've received, Geno's sticks out prominently. He goes to the hospital with me. He waits with me in the exam room, he's right outside the door while they do the procedure (Incision & Drainage), then as soon as he's allowed, he's back in the room with me, holding my hand as I'm quite delirious from the ketamine sedation. He says I tend to ask the same questions over and over and over again, that drives him a little crazy, but he realizes that it's a side effect of the sedation and he remains calm and patient. I am so incredibly blessed to have Geno by my side as I've been suffering from a severely weakened immune system and many, many, many abscesses - a lot of which have landed me in the emergency room. As you may know, Geno's going through the testing for cancer at the moment. He's got an endoscopy scheduled for this Friday. Depending on the results, he may need to have a colonoscopy. I'm terrified for him, I'm so scared of losing him. But you can damn well bet without a shadow of a doubt that I will be by his side every single step of the way. I'll be his cheerleader, his shoulder and everything he's been to me as I've been dealing with my current health crisis for the last 8 months.
Had to call Shaw Cable today because for some (unknown) reason, our TV keeps pixelating and skipping. It's really frustrating because it'll happen for 5-10 minutes non-stop, then it's fine for awhile and then it starts up again. We called them last week and did what they suggested and waited for the callback we were promised but never got. Today I had to unplug the coaxle cable from the modem, then from the wall. I couldn't reach the one attached to the wall and Geno wasn't home at that moment, but the guy said it wasn't really a big deal and then set up an appointment to have a technician come out this Sunday, between 9-11am. I'm pretty sure our cable box is still under warranty, the Shaw guy never answered me when I asked specifically if it's still under warranty. I'll probably have Geno ask the technician on Sunday.
Other than all that stuff, not much else is going on. I have some shit swirling in my head that I'll probably write out in the next couple-few days. Just a lot on my mind I guess. Have a great day everyone!
Sarah. xoxox
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