Caffeine: Before Xueling was born, he called her Bump.
Me: And Chestburster. Don't forget that.
My mum: Why?
Me: Because I knew that if the universe had even the tiniest inkling of how much joy I would have as a father, it would instantly arrange to have that joy taken away. Which meant that until she was in my arms and safe, I couldn't risk revealing that I cared at all.
As you may imagine, that killed the conversation.

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