Hopefully not the end in Hopefully not the end
- Nov. 19, 2018, 2:14 a.m.
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- Public
I don’t really know what to do now. My girlfriend kinda broke up with me this morning. She told me that basically she jumped into our relationship to fast after her last one ended and that she needs to take some time and be alone. I do understand completely what she means but why did she wait so long to have these feelings? Part of me thinks she just wants to end our relationship without hurting me but she told me that she loves me even after she ended it and that if she wanted to be with anyone it’s me. I’m just so afraid of losing her.
I don’t consider myself to be much. I’m not very good looking or anything, I just try to make people laugh and it works for the most part. I don’t really even fully understand why she likes/liked me in the first place. It’s actually one of my greatest fears that she’ll see me as I see myself and not want me anymore. I’m not very happy with myself I guess is putting it lightly. I’ve always seen her as so much more, she’s beautiful, smart, and kind hearted. When I confessed my feelings to her I was 100% ready to be rejected and I was honestly okay with it but she told me she felt the same way. I don’t even really know how to describe how she makes me feel now, that seems kinda bad lol. I guess it’s like the warm feeling you get from watching a Sunrise. I don’t know if it just me or not and I know this sounds super cheesy but I can literally feel feelings in my heart. Honestly, everyone probably does and I’m just stupid, it just seems strange to me to be able to feel such strong joy and pain in my chest. It feels like I might lose all the joy and happiness in my heart but I have some hope to hold onto. I just hope that at the end of all this, after she takes the time to leave things in the past and move on that she’ll still want to be with me. Idk, All I can do is wait. Right?
A Pedestrian Wandering ⋅ November 19, 2018
Yow that hurts! If you feel your feelings then you are way ahead of many who gloss them over or stuff them down. Time will tell if your relationship is strong enough to last but the important thing is that you are strong enough to last.