Yesterday I get home from work excited to start crafting for the night when I get a message from my best friend. She asks if I heard about Rob. Rob was a close friend and my favorite bartender for many years. No, I hadn’t heard. She sends me a link to an article and my heart drops. I drop. I slump into the nearest chair as I process what I read. Rob has suffered a heart attack and was found dead that morning. Tears well and my heart breaks.
This can’t be happening. Not Rob. He’s too young, barely in his 40s. He just got married a couple of years ago and finally had the opportunity to start the family he always wanted.
Rob was the friendliest guy around. Everyone loved him and visited his bar just for him. I’ve known him for 9 years. He was the first person who ever helped me find confidence within myself and made me feel beautiful. He was always concerned for my safety and took care of me. Every time I walked in the door he would smile and rush over with a hug and a kiss. When I was walking to or from the bar he would text me to make sure i made it safely. If some creep was bothering me at the bar or a date wasn’t working out I could shoot him a quick text and he’d take care of it.
He and I both shared a love of Johnny Depp. One night after a bad break up he texts me asking me to come to the bar that night. At first I wasn’t up to it but eventually I put on this new outfit, dolled myself up, and went. They were having a pirate night at the bar and he was dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow. He wanted to surprise me. Sure enough he did! And let me say, one fantasy marked off the bucket list.
He paid for my 21st birthday party. He didn’t have to but he insisted. He always made me feel so desired and important. Anytime I came in with a date they would get half off just for being with me (I rarely paid). He would then proceed to tell them how lucky they were and that they were making the right choice because I was amazing.
He used to tease me about how much I loved his amazing legs. Hard as rocks they were and so amazing to grab during…well you know. We used to talk about going to the roof of the bar and doing it there. We sadly never made it there. So many good memories of that wonderful man. We never dated which is what we agreed on and I never really loved him romantically but I did love him. It breaks my heart to see him gone.
When I moved we didn’t talk much but when my best friend got married, I made sure that while I was in town I stopped by. It warmed my heart knowing he remembered me, and how to spell my last name even. He still cared after all this time. He took care of us that night. I wish I had waited for one last hug and kiss goodbye. I thought I would see him again and one day introduce him to my soon to be husband.
I have had so many friends who knew Rob reach out in support because they knew how close we were. In fact, if you read an earlier post of mine you know that a friend of 10 years has decided we are no longer friends so she will not participate or come to my wedding. But one friend who reached out to me about Rob apologized for being such a distant friend as of late and when I offered the bridesmaid position to her she happily accepted and I re-sparked an old friendship.
Even in death, Rob still has my back. For the best bartender around, the next drink is for you. You will be deeply missed my friend.
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