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Ahhhhhhh! or why does children's programming drive me crazy? in Life and other messes

  • Feb. 27, 2014, 5:16 a.m.
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I let my children watch television. There, I said it. Those dirty words. We don't have cable or local channels but I refuse to deceptively state that we don't watch television because we do, we just use Netlix and Amazon Prime instead of Comcast.

My kids don't watch a huge amount of TV but what they do watch is usually necessary for my sanity. When I am sick/have a migraine/got 2 hours of sleep the night before and need half an hour to stare into space while they are occupied, it serves a very important purpose. So basically TV keeps me sane. Except that it drives me crazy.

Dora the Explorer is a favorite. I don't flat out hate Dora but I wish she wouldn't encourage my kids to yell. Why can't that backpack and map hear you the first time? And if you can sense the Swiper is coming, why don't YOU look for him, Dora? And why does Swiper take some things and throw them away? He's not a Swiper, really. He's just kind of a jerk.

Barney. I used to think I disliked Barney himself. Big, goofy, purple dinosaur, ect. But having watched it all too often now, I actually find Barney to be the most level-headed, least over the too member of the cast. Those overacting children, on the other hand, drive me right up a wall. All that head nodding and singing at each other and fake laughing-how do they live with themselves as adults? I would die of embarrassment if I ever thought of it again.

Max and Ruby. Just one question: what did they do to their parents?

Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood: I actually like this one. The topics are great for my older daughter: controlling anger, getting shots, being away from Mom and Dad. But again, one question: why do Daniel and his dad only wear a shirt? I know I'm strange but these kinds of things bother me. Daniel's mom wears pants. Why is she forced to do that? Pants oppression is a serious topic.

Caillou. Can I tell you how much I don't like Caillou without using the word hate? Probably not. That ditzy theme song, that annoying, whiny kid who gets away with ridiculous behavior and the cat's name is Gilbert (nothing against the name but not for a car)? 'Nuff said.


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