You know, sometimes I get bitter. I feel like I've been promised that if I'm funny enough, charming enough, fit enough, "man" enough, sensitive enough that I will find this imperfect but perfect for me woman. That she and I will fight and fuck like champions and we'll make each other because of it. Every sappy fucking song, every fucking movie made, everything tells me that I'll find a life with someone worth living. But it's never delivered. I'm nearly thirty. I have no legacy, no kids, no wife, I live alone. No one to find me if I die in my sleep. Only my dog. And I feel like I was promised so much fucking more. Instead, I've got a bum knee, a fucked ankle a bad shoulder and I'm not getting any younger. If I did die in my sleep I feel it would be people from work who find me. And that thought fucking saddens me.
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