Been Awhile. in Give Me Mercy and a Minute now. I'm a bleed a little poison out.

So I figured maybe give a quick update.

Ummm…idk where to start. So…basically moved most of my stuff just got furniture and tech really…and like comics and things i cant move until I move furniture. Stuck back and forth while helping sister and shit, because she got evicted over nonsense from her apartment so her and her fam move in with my mother in this house. Her hubby is having drug issues again, and she is about fed up with him so not sure what’s going on with that yet.

Lots of shit I can’t say anything about will begin to happen early next year.

There is potential that I can start planning the Kennel business. Which…yay.

Work…work is bullshit and I am particularly fed up. But just kind of go, work the grind, be patient, and then find something else. They still have not fired this little shit that keeps disappearing, hiding in the bathroom, walking in circles, hanging out in the back. I have my team coming to me to bitch about it, as if I am teh team lead and can do anything about it. They won’t say shit to a real team lead because these youths are all, “I aint no snitch” to which I tell them if you are not going to give management the information to deal with it, he won’t change the behavior and youll have to continue compensating for him doign nothing while he collects a pay check that is hourly the same as yours....Told them that if they wont tell management tell me and I will, and that if they won’t tell management then they need to give him shit about it. Gotta have some kind of repercussions for that shit. The one day he hid in the bathroom for a minimum of 10 minutes (what we could confirm because at 3:14 my guy came to me saying he cant find him, checked the backroom bathroom door…closed…so kind of camped out while backstocking close to it. 3:24 hes out and walks straight to the time clock) I have talked to my immediate team lead, a salesfloor teamlead, 2 Executive Team leads and after the bathroom to time clock thing the Store Team Lead....and I emphasized…I dont mind my being frustrated by it but when my team is coming to me because of it voicing their frustrations…Then that kills my teams morale....and I am not even a team lead…but hockey ingrained a TEAM mentality in me. And I have talked to him myself about it, but not in like a hostile way or really an authoritative way, because I could get in trouble. I’ve semi-snapped at him too.
I was backroom for 2 weeks. Not in market, and they broke the date guns for the bakery table by trying to load it without taking stickers off so stickers have jammed the gears up. And we now have to manually write the dates on the product. One of my hit or miss guys came to me and said he had done almost the entire truck and hasnt seen the kid do anything. And the day before we had a bakery delivery which nobody touched (because i wasnt in market) So I wanted the kid to do it, because he hadn’t done shit. And when I said, “Make sure you guys get that bakery today.” He threw his hands up and made a dumb ass face and said “Devon is closing. I can’t I gotta do this.” as he gestures at the truck line that showed all the stuff the hit or miss guy already did. I responded, “no no no no. That’s not how it works. There’s two of you, I dont care who does it, it needs done. It’s a team effort. We do what needs done.” And he walked off and Devon got it done. WHich pissed me off. Because a team lead (who should have been fired ages ago) was there for that, and I told him I want the kid to do it since he is actively avoiding it. Ya know to create a consequence for that behavior. Nope. He also had Devon do it. Which pisses me off, because when I am not in market, Devon is the next best guy I got. And I know he is pissed and getting tired because he is only seeing a fraction of the shit i deal with. He is pulling most of the general labor work when I am not in market, but he doesn’t even have to deal with the expectation of delegation, and keeping tabs on everyone, dealing with vendors, salesplanners, sales, signs, etc. etc. Like he just sees the push compensation I pull. And he is already frustrated. I lost my other second hand man to receiving. So it’s essentially me and Devon. And we both are....basically at the fuck it stage where we will come and do our work, and tell ourselves that we won’t stay late or overcompensate for the others, but we do. The one kid there that surprised the hell out of me. He came in when he was hired and was real quiet and took his time, because he saw the others bullshitting and followed their example. I expressed my frustrations with a team lead about the efficiency of the team, they said something in a mini market huddle about trying to stay efficient, and he heard taht and stepped it up ten fold. He and I talk most out of me and my team, and he’s come out of his shell and has been killing it. Him…I am proud of.

Ummm Oh I am gonna be a great dad one day. Keegan was throwing a bit of a tantrum because he had to get a bath and stop playing my Switch. So I took it from him sent him to get his bath then talked to him (while shusshing my sister to let me talk to him because she wanted to scold him) I asked him if he was behaving he said no. Asked if he is misbehaving does he deserve to play the game. He shook his head no. and said but I want to. I told him I know you want to, but it’s a privilege to play the game and if you don’t behave does it make sense that you get to play. He shook his head no. And I told him if you behave you get to play but if you dont you dont get to play. So you dont get to play tonight, but if tomorrow you get another chance to play if you behave. And he calmed down, still upset, but calmed down and got ready for bed. Just throwing out that bit of non-parent parenting i pulled.

B. Yikes. I can’t really say anything on that. But god damn. She messaged me a few weeks ago. Some serious shit. I have been worried about her and shit. Talked to her some here and there. It’s been like a week and a half to 2 weeks since I’ve heard from her. And I am very concerned that she’s gone back to specific stupid shit. There’s no reason I should want to help her. She has not been a friend. I honestly was content not talking to her, but she messaged me about that shit and I ....raged. Not at her, but I raged. If it weren’t for my sister keeping me from going....I would have done some bad things. I don’t believe she deserves what she’s been dealt but her behavior is also not deserving of my compassion and friendship, but once you love someone it doesn’t just stop. And I do love her, in spite of how she has treated me and shit. And I promised her that if she ever needed me, I would be there. I don’t like breaking promises like that. So, maybe I will hear from her maybe I won’t. It kind a hurts, but whatever happens I know I have done more than most would, and I have done all I can to help her. It’s up to her to accept the help and ask for it.

Did I ever write about....Let’s call her P. Like 3 or 4 months ago I started talking to a girl. She was amazing. Like....compatibility immediately. We talked every day, throughout the day. Snapped each other constantly, etc. etc. Went out. etc. etc. We were doing great. And I was optimistic about where things would go. Then one day, I asked her why she didn’t get much sleep, she responded, “I was with my boy.” “oh shit.” and I tried to get her to tell me something about it like to explain or whatever, and she never did. Well, I was thinking about her the other day. Idk why. Maybe trying to distract myself at the possibility of what B may have gotten herself into. But I also know she loves Halloween like me, so I said fuck it message her. “Hey I know we stopped talking and shit but, Happy Halloween.” And she responded we talked. She said she missed talking, and thought I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. And I said I wanna know what I missed these 2 months and we should talk about what happened. And we did.
Turns out a guy asked her number, she gave it to him for shits and gigs and didn’t it would amount to anything, or that it wouldnt go well but it did, and she was freaked and didn’t know how to tell me. I gave her shit about it and was like…dont you think that was just a fine way of telling me there, a hell of a lot better than hiding it and letting it slip. And how we talked about how important communication was and she owned up to how she swore she wasn’t that type of person and how it is what she did. So we talked and we are gonna stay friends and if things change with her and this dude, we will reevaluate then. So that’s a thing.

Jassmine. Her grandmother died recently. I told her she has my support whenever it hits her. And she mentioned the memorial being the weekend of the 17th, and that if I want I could come up for that. Which is her way of asking without asking, as I see it. So I am likely heading up there that weekend if work lets me off. We are still staying friends.

Jesus....I get friend zoned alot damn lol

Myles Kennedy’s solo album. Finally got around to listening to that....and I love it. Caite....give it a listen I think you’d like it. It’s is kind of folky, and bluesy, and the story behind the album is strong. About the passing of his father mostly. Hearing him talk about it was cool.

TATTOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
So a friend is paying for my next tattoo. We are deciding on scheduling tomorrow with the guy my friend recommended. So this week or next I will likely have some new ink. What you ask? This .....

But I am changing one of the bones to a bonemerang (The one Cubone holds) on my forearm and later I am going to get....

But black instead of purple, on my other forearm

I don’t know what else there is to write about..... While it is a struggle now....I am optimistic about the coming months.

Part of me wants to get the quote, “If it can be destroyed by truth, then it should be.” But I feel like I should read the novel series first. So I would have to acquire those.

I want to find the copy of Ishmael and re read that. I am sure there’s something in there I want tattooed. lol

Alright King out. Much Love. Be the good you want to see in the world. But take no shit.

Last updated October 28, 2018