Write a flash that could be an "I'm away" message for voicemail
You’ve reached Haredawgs pocket. I’m not sure where it is. You should probably be careful about leaving a message, but your caller ID has shown up anyhow. This could be bad if I hopped out a window without my pockets. Be careful
Sorry, we can’t come to the phone; my entire species has left the planet. I will return your call if we find our way back.
At the tone please --- wait, hold on --- Hey, hey, yeah you, shit for brains, I swear to god damn motherfuck I will pop out your eye and skull fuck you. Here, take the phone, it’s for you. It’s your Aunty.
(Some scratchy recording, Nina Simone or Sinatra) No one here can love or understand me, oh what hard luck stories they all hand me, make my bed and light the light, I’ll be home late tonight, blackbird bye bye.
If I’m not answering the phone, I’m dead. I tried to live my life as basically a good man, still, please don’t step on a cricket in this lifetime. Oh, I guess you might as well leave a message though the cops are going to rifle through the machine.
You’ve got the wrong number. Say hey to the kid for me. There are tickets for y’all at candlestick.
This is Stanislavsky’s phone. Remember when you first got a machine and not a man, use it, dig, then leave a message, try it without words.
(Lo fi smog recording) I did thirty seven pushups in a winter rate sea-side motel.
Who dat ring my phone? Do I know you? Why the big suit? Is this an answering machine or a questioning machine? Should you buck up buckaroo? Jah.
This is a cell. It’s portable; you got to ask yourself why I’m not answering. I’ll tell you later that the phone was on the charger. It seems to be charging way too often when you call.
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