Tired of pretending in Shattered Heart

I’m tired… just so tired of life, of being sad, of pretending I dont hurt…of putting on a happy face… fake smiles and all… and tired of crying…
I don’t look forward to anything anymore.. only to going back to work tomorrow because it gets me out of this house…
I don’t really have someone to totally confide in… so that makes me feel more alone…
I want to exact revenge so bad, but that’s not me… I’m just not that cold hearted… its probably why I’m going through all this shit… maybe I’m just to nice!!
Everyday I find something that just feels like I got punched in the gut.. something that Makes me cry some more something that opens up that hurt again and again… are they doing it on purpose because they know it will get to me or hurt me? All these questions that just go round and round in my head…
So tonight again I will go to bed wishing that I dont ever wake up… and in the morning I’m awake to drag through another torturous day!
I want to be loved and wanted… just a little I don’t ask for much just a little bit of love!