I’m being forced to continue to live where I’m at. I guess that’s the price I have to pay renting a place from a friend. I should be happy that she is helping me. We couldn’t afford the rent and now she letting us live there without paying rent until we get back on our feet. You’d think I’d be ecstatic about it. All I feel is guilt. I never wanted anyone else to be responsible for my actions. My bad decision making. I have this problem where I feel terrible if I affect anyone in what could be interpreted to be a negative way. I care too much about how I’m making others feel. Even though she is forcing me to stay, I feel like I’m forcing her to allow me to stay. Why wont it end? Why can’t i.just be grateful for this wonderful opportunity to do better for my family?
On a slightly happier note, I found a way to take my oldest to see hotel transylvania 3. Shes been begging to go see it. Being that I have no money, I got lucky with trading in an expired Groupon for a gift card to the movie theater.
But now I have to feel guilty for taking her. We just dealt with this whole fiasco about not having money and not having to pay rent, so how do we go have fun without feeling guilty? Even though we’re not coming out of pocket paying for this it still doesn’t look good from the outside.
Sigh....I should not.have to live life constantly feeling guilt for everything I do. How.do I get rid.of this feeling?
One day I’ll be able to write more positive, happy entries. One day.
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