Usually that is the struggle right? Not knowing where to pick yourself up… Or maybe, the most horrifying way… not even knowing you’ve reached a dead end already…
In no way would I even attempt to be too poetic. Nor would I even try to use highfaluting words to sound omniscient.
My life is not all smug, nor sad. Although, in all honesty, at present it does appear to be so. I’m being swallowed by my own fears, insecurities as well as battered by pure conflict. This brings us back to the question above… where to start?
A year ago, I had found myself emerging into a new path in my career. Making bolder moves. Owning more responsibilities. I must say, the road I took was not at all easy. Like everyone else, we all had those “boo-boos” along the way that we just shrug about now. In the blooming part of my career, I find myself falling with deep infatuation for someone. Well for most of you (if there is even someone reading, may be starting to comment, “oh no, not another love story gone wrong.” or… “Just another pathetic lonely person writing her broken heart away.”
Sorry to disappoint. Although it might appear that the beginning chapters of this book would be revolving around a guy name, Stephen, I can assure you that it won’t stay that way entirely. For the most part, he is the reason I find myself back to square one.
How can I describe Stephen? Every time he walks in the room, he immediately brightens it. He has this very warm smile that penetrates your soul. His eyes speaks any language you can ever think of. His charisma and presence is addictive. I guess that’s it. Something about him, I cannot escape.
The first time I laid my eyes on him, I had the typical shivers~ the good kind. I knew he was special. He was my mentor for a night. He was moonlighting in the hospital I started working at. His demeanor got me hooked right away. Enclosed in a small doctor’s office for the whole entire night, and being in such close proximity with him, I can’t imagine what else can hinder a Michie-Stephen relationship. Two young, very smart healthy professionals in the city of Chicago. Both spontaneous, ambitious and career driven individuals finally met, in although a tiny hospital, seemed to be just the right place, but sadly, not the right time.
We had the whole 12 hour shift to see patients, round on them and the remaining part, get to know each other. So far, everything that I learned about him were amazing. Until.... he mentioned he has a wife. Well that changed EVERYTHING. I know myself well. There is no way I will even engage in an adulterous activity, nor would I even attempt to temp one in thinking of such. My illusion of being with this McDreamy immediately failed. I told myself, that at least I can have another friend who has the same drive as I am when it comes to career and passion in health care.
Sadly, that first mistake did not end there. With the failure of their marriage, to what was assumed (or what I was told) that it was all his wife’s lack of commitment… my relationship with Stephen sprung.
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