5:12 PM, Thursday, March 22, 2018
Pain, the familiar feeling you never get used to. The aching between your stomach and chest, where you’re crying to the point you can’t even make a sound except the loud gasp for air. Yes, I remember you now. Each time you feel this way it’s like it’s the first time, like you’ve never experienced it before and hope to never again, but then it comes back again, and you wonder how long will this last? You think you are ok with it, the breakup, yes, it’s all for the best, Gods will not mine, you know they’re right and think you understand, until you don’t. and all you want to do is take back everything you just decided, as if it was 2 minutes ago, but you can’t. Even if you try, its already been decided, mutually that it’s the best option now. If its meant to be, it’ll be, leave it in Gods hands, and maybe that’s what aches the most, the fact that for once in your life you’re actually doing your best to do the right thing, not just for you but for him too, and vice versa. Maybe this is the first healthy relationship you have ever had in your entire life, yes it is, and this is the right thing to do, when it becomes not just about what’s best for you, but you realize its best for him too, and he realized the same thing. The more days that go by its like its set in stone, then you feel like you’re slipping, wishing, wanting again. You wonder if you’re strong enough to get through it, no you’re not, but with God anything is possible. God will show you the way through this, He is the only one with the power to do that. There’s just one thing you have to do, give Him control. Are you willing to do that? Yes? Then you’re ready, to make it through the rest of today, one minute at a time, no matter how painful it gets, or how it feels inside, just feel it and know that God is catching every tear and holding you and won’t let go.
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