So, that lovey dovey time of the year is coming around the corner. I really don’t like talking about this gushy stuff. I don’t have good memories associated with it. But there is something I want to get off my chest. I don’t know why, but it probably has to do with the fact that the store are filled with romantic and lovey gifts and cards, while couples all around me are preparing for the big day.
I am not beautiful.
People who say beauty is relative are able to accept their flaws-they don’t like them, but they accept them none the less. On the other hand, the people who scorn those people see nothing but flaws-there is no such thing as perfection when it come to their own beauty. While I am not a hateful person, I see nothing good about myself. If anything, I’m envious of those who can accept their own uniqueness. But whenever people tell me that I’m “beautiful in my own way” it feels like the biggest insult. It makes me feel like I don’t live up to societal standards. Everyone has to look, dress, act, and overall be a certain person in order to be accepted or lovable. It’s not fair.
I’m not beautiful and therefore I am unlovable.
That’s how I feel and anytime I scrounge up any confidence, I am humiliated and that belief is reinforced. I hate myself and the feelings just get worst during this time of year. I am painfully reminded that I am incapable of being loved by anyone. I’ve accepted the likelihood that I will always be alone and thinking about it makes me want to break down. I have 0 redeeming qualities: I’m not talented, I’m not gifted, I have no interesting quirks, I’m not impressive in any way-hell with all of my mental health issues I doubt anyone would be able to deal with me.
I’m so worthless. I hate myself so much. All I’ve ever done is shown my love and support towards others. I show them and encourage everything good about them, but I can’t even do it for myself. I’m truly pathetic. No can love someone as pathetic as I am. I’m unlovable. I’m not beautiful.
Loading comments...