My Body is Assaulting Itself in General Mental Anesthesia
- Jan. 25, 2018, 11:39 p.m.
- |
- Public
I’m surprised that hospitals don’t charge me rent!
Are you ready for this?
So as you may have read in my previous entry; I was just in the hospital 2 days ago re: colitis. Well, I just got home from the hospital once again!
Yesterday, my back was really, really killing me because of all the waiting around the previous day in the ER sitting in an uncomfortable chair for nearly 10 hours.
But never has this happened… My lower back spasming at the same time as my mid/upper back goes into spasm. Add that to the excruciating ulcerative colitis pains I was in and I started having panic or anxiety attacks, I think. It was just severe chest pains over my sternum and my heart.
I took my Tramadol and Flexeril, but neither worked. I had trouble breathing, but I suffered through it, all day, all night… Then this morning it was just as bad except now I was having a whole new pain (on my left side (back area) stretching all across my lower back, to my buttock to my lung.
Every breath I took was a moan in pain. Again, I tried to tough it out, but after 2 hours… I had to be taken back to the hospital, it was just way too much!
On the way to the ER (Mom was driving) I had to open the car door as she drove because I was so nauseous; dry heaving in traffic half out the door for a 1/2 mile!
We get to the ER around 11am and had to wait 4 hours before I was seen, moaning nonstop. I was so uncomfortable, I couldn’t sit or stand; I was literally writhing in agony, then it was another hour before I received any meds. Morphine, but it only took away about 25% of the pain, so that was followed up with a Toradol injection (which helped tremendously). The next few hours I was drifting in and out of consciousness.
Trust me when I say: It was 10,000x worse than I’m describing!!!
Had some tests done and a cat scan....
I have a 3mm kidney stone.
It’s 11:15pm, I just got home from the hospital and as much as I despise medicating… I’m taking everything!!!! Norco, Flowmax, Zofran, 600mg Motrin, Chanca Piedra, Pumpkin Seed extract… and TONS AND TONS OF WATER!!!
Also, because of the severity of the ulcerative colitis and extensive bleeding… I’ve lost 22lbs in the last 10 days.
Lord help me.... :’(
Last updated January 26, 2018
sourapple ⋅ January 26, 2018
That sounds awful!! I hope you find some relief soon.
Exhumed By Scrying Eyes sourapple ⋅ January 26, 2018
Yes, beyond awful if I'm honest, this is just the tip of the iceberg of awfulness.
Thank you for the kind words. :)
Marg ⋅ January 26, 2018
Well that's just what you need right now ...... (not)
So do you have to wait for it to 'come on down'?
Exhumed By Scrying Eyes Marg ⋅ January 26, 2018
Yes... I'm scared to be honest. I don't have the extreme pain killers that I was given in the hospital... I'm really going to have to suffer through it. Could be today, tonight, 3 days from now... The stress (another thing I don't need) is mounting considerably every passing second.
And let's not forget, I'm still dealing with the back pain and getting sick (colitis) 20x a day with severe bleeding.
I'm sad, very tired and tired of being sad and in constant pain every waking minute, I'm even in pain in my sleep. It just never goes away
:(
Marg Exhumed By Scrying Eyes ⋅ January 26, 2018
What you're going through is a living hell. Indescribable torture. Do you get much support from family and friends? I'm guessing not but I wondered how it worked out living with them. Is it better or worse than living on your own?
Exhumed By Scrying Eyes Marg ⋅ January 26, 2018
Oh my g-d, I would SOOOOOOO much rather be living on my own. My mom is obviously worried (as am I). I was in so much pain yesterday morning, I almost called 911, but my mom was here and I told her she needs to take me to the ER. I don't know that she knew I was serious about it, I accidentally blurted out the line (when she was not in haste as I was) "Mom, you need to take me before G-D does".
That's how bad things were, I was in tears and also regretted saying it because I know my mom cares, it was good that she was there.
I have zero friends here, so no support at all really. All of my friends are back in Florida, except my best friend whose in Massachusetts.
Ultimately, I'd rather be alone when I'm so sick. I can't go out, can't do anything, sometimes it hurts just to talk. If I won the lottery, I'd move out, buy or rent a house for a year by myself near where "good and highly recommended dr's are" and just have all the surgeries I need.
I love being social, going out and doing things, and times like now I really need the emotional support which I don't really have. A get well wish on fb, is well... meh you know? It's kind of like getting a happy birthday on fb. Did they remember your birthday? No, they got a reminder from fb that it was your birthday.
The only real benefit of living with family, is that if I wasn't I'd be homeless and if I were homeless at my age and in my condition, i would have died, so as miserable as i am here, i'm thankful.
Marg Exhumed By Scrying Eyes ⋅ January 26, 2018
Yeah I understand what you mean. I've often thought when I'm really bad well at least I'm not bothering anybody else because I'm on my own but then I wondered if I would feel more supported with people I love around me. And then Nikki or someone comes in for an hour and I find myself hating the fact I can't cope with even that small length of time. I think after a certain time folk get fed up or don't know how to deal with it or just wish you would GET BETTER! My sister - in a text the other week - said 'I'm just concerned this is going to go on forever'. Big help. Not. And what if it did?? Does that mean love and support ups and dies? Is there a time limit on compassion? Sure feels like it sometimes! Sometimes I feel like I'm being blamed for being ill which is just ...... complete madness.
Exhumed By Scrying Eyes Marg ⋅ January 26, 2018
That's EXACTLY how I feel. Like it's my fault.
My mom looks at me with disgust and hatred all the time. I talked to her about it, expressing that it hurts my feelings. She says it's not that, but you're my son and I hate to see you suffer like this and I feel like it's my fault and that I can't do anything to help you.
I understand that, but you don't have to show it in your face you know? Put on a fake smile, show a little empathy. I can go without love on a daily basis, but the one time I do need it, it's nowhere to be found. (Or so it seems).
Marg Exhumed By Scrying Eyes ⋅ January 27, 2018
YES! I actually can't believe how my family have responded - especially Nikki and my sister - to what I've gone through - and just like you said - the ONE time I really really needed basic unconditional love and compassion, it just seemed too hard for some reason. I'm quite shellshocked by the whole thing but don't have the courage to tackle them about it. It's left its mark though - that I do know.
Sister ⋅ January 26, 2018
Oh my...
Gilraent ⋅ January 27, 2018
Pam gets angry sometimes. I always think she is angry at me, but she's angry that she can't fix me. Still hurts just the same.
She is the only support I have here. My family isn't supportive at all. Well, my oldest nephew is, but that's it. My friends from back home? Just one is there for me if I need her.
I have more support from complete strangers on facebook and here on PB than anywhere else. Sad, innit?
I shared your gofundme again. Keep posting it in your entries to remind me to share it.
Do you think you could tolerate lemon water? I don't want to cause your colitis to get worse, but depending on what the stone is made of (there are several kinds) lemon juice helps dessolve them.
Exhumed By Scrying Eyes Gilraent ⋅ January 31, 2018
Yeah, it's like that for me too. I know my Aunt and my cousin love, my cousin has a big following on fb too and neither one has even shared the gfm page once. I mean really? Do I honestly have to ask? Beg? My aunt did make a donation, but she could share it at work, you know? I've done such things. I just don't get it.
Then again, they're the type of people that when you reach out to them they're all like "Oh it's been so long, I really miss you honey, I hope you're doing well, you have to keep in touch blah, blah, blah" but if you never reach out to them, they'll never reach out to you. It's sad.
I don't know what its consistency is. I can't even tolerate regular water with the colitis as severe as it is. :/
Gilraent Exhumed By Scrying Eyes ⋅ January 31, 2018
Do you do better with thicker consistency liquids? like when you're not NPO at the hospital, do they give you thickened liquids?
Kristi1971 ⋅ January 28, 2018
I am female, but from what my RN mom has told me, being male with a kidney stone is the worst thing for a man. I'm so sorry. :(
Exhumed By Scrying Eyes Kristi1971 ⋅ January 30, 2018
I still haven't passed it yet. I'm drinking so much water it's ridiculous and the combination of being in a severe ulcerative colitis flare, it's a double whammy x about a trillion! I'm beside myself actually the severity and how broad the pain in my back / kidney area is from something so relatively small. To say it's unbearable is a tremendous understatement!!!
Thank you for your comment and your concern.