Change.. in Just a place for my to let my thoughts fly.

I swear my life has been rebuilt from the beginning time and time again. Periods of doing really well then periods of losing everything for one reason or another. Each time I tell myself Ill come back stronger then ever but that’s not the case. Its like I’m a little kid learning to walk along the waves breaking at the beach, just as I get my footing right I get knocked back onto my ass. So frustrating. I am so tired of trying to repair or save things, tired of fighting for relationships and people that really wouldn’t be bothered to do the same for me.
How do you stop it. How do you move past the construction faze of life? I always tell myself that “nothing changes if nothing changes” but yet everything’s changed. I gave up a toxic relationship of 10 years, I moved my kids into a small apartment so I could manage on my own, spent over a year single, got a car, started a new relationship, I started going back to school. Just to watch it all fall apart again. I’m so tired of always having to fix things.
I take care of my family and friends, I go so far out of my way to make sure everyone else is happy why is it no one seems to care about my happiness. My kids are ungrateful for all I do always expecting more then I have to give, my boyfriend made it seem like he was the answer to my dreams. He was working 2 jobs, always looked clean cut and well dressed, hes friendly and so smart, but once he moved in with me he got fired from his day job, stopped working his side job and basically turned into a teenager, taking off all night sleeping all day not paying for anything, taking money. stupid stupid things. Same shit my ex used to do, just not has bad. I kicked him out today.. gut-wrenching to need to walk away but It seems like things are just meant to be this way. Always wanting something more, something better. Its foolish. People don’t change, and maybe just maybe some people arn’t meant to find real happiness. Maybe just maybe I am one of those people. Forever the one to better others lives but never able to better my own.