It’s not a nightmare in When the waves hit

A week ago I was saying how perfect life is .
I said in 10 weeks we will have another little boy around and my brothers wife would be out of the picture because he was finally going to divorce that abusive bitch . I was on top of the world … I spoke too soon .
Every second of every day I’m consumed with the fact that my baby nephew was shot by another kid . That my brother left a loaded gun laying , that I will never see my precious nephew on this earth again . This pain is unreal . I need to have this baby because I feel so bad for the pain he has to be feeling because of this stress . It cannot be good for him .
My world feels dark .
My parents are sticking by my dumb brother and I just want him in jail. This is why ; I own a gun , I own a gun to protect my family . I would never ever ever put my family in danger by leaving my gun loaded for someone other than myself to access . Who the fuck does that when you have small children ? Gun safety is important if others life’s are at risk . I cannot even look at my brother . I’m trying really hard to stand by him. But he already has a new chick coming around. This isn’t effecting him like it should . He isn’t even legally divorced yet . His fucking wife came the day of Eric’s funeral with her hole family and moved EVERYTHING out of there house . She had the nerve the day we said goodbye to pack her shit ? Seriously what kind of humans am I surrounded by ? This world is fucked up . I wanted to shake her . My lil Eric would be so heart broken because of how his “parents” are acting .
I cannot believe this reality .