Sexual Identity in Talk Radio

I am likely to identify as bisexual or pansexual entirely by my snap judgement of how big your vocabulary is. In the past, I have tried sapiosexual to describe my preferences not being based on bodily or gender features but on the compatibility of the personality of the person in question, but I have disliked the use of sapiosexuality emphasis on intelligence in a way which I feel is classist and petty. Thus have taken more to pansexuality as the more obscure (and accurate) description of what I am.

I am also demisexual and I’m really happy to see asexuality and greysexuality emerging as a sexual orientation worthy of understanding. This was a really hard journey for me to take, as I realized a lot of my teenage hypersexual behavior toward my non-bonded partners was a shallow performance motivated by a deep seated insecurity that I am not normal. I feel like it would have helped me to have representation when I was growing up. Also, being agender and struggling with dysphoria despite having no clear gender role I identify with (other than feeling like I’d rather stick with “she” than change to something like “they”) seems related to this in a way I still can’t explain.

I have no real gender preference, but there is no doubt I have tended to date mostly straight men. I not only feel this reflects their attraction to me more than mine to them, it also reflects phobia of bi & pan sexuals or non-monosexuals¹ in the LGBT community. This is why I fight for polyamory to be included in LGBT. The prevailling opinion seems to be excluding otherwise hetero polyamorous people, which I think is very reminiscent of excluding asexuals and bi/pansexuals in straight-passing relationships.

But I think poly is uniquely vulnerable to attack and lack of support from a community, because I do not even think an open poly relationship is even straight passing. Due to the secretive nature of closeting, I do not know, but I strongly suspect that additional or “secondary” partners are more likely to be in the closet than a primary/only partner of ANY gender or sexuality. And an open poly family could be subject to just as much if not more discrimination and doubt than a pan, bi, or asexual couple. My Dad, for example, would LOVE me to settle down with just one person and whenever I had a single partner over of any gender at my room in his home: “just don’t have an orgy”

The etymology of straight comes from terms like “straight and narrow”, but anyone who has been openly poly can see for themselves, multiple partners is usually harder for people to accept than a single partner of any or even trans and ambiguous genders. So I don’t think I would consider the openly poly path straight at all; Although I might still use the word straight to indicate heterosexuality because that is how it is understood.

And I think all non-straight or non heteronormal people should be included in LGBT community.

Last updated June 06, 2019