So I was in my sister’s room one afternoon when I was home alone. I had already done my usual thing with her ceramic rainbow so I knew I was going to be punished for being in there. I had grabber her diary and was laying on her bed reading it. I actually read it on a regular basis so I was just catching up on her most recent entry.
Her bedroom window faced the driveway and while I was laying there I heard a car pull in. This was unexpected because I thought I had the afternoon to myself. I looked out and saw my sister walking toward the house. I wasn’t really in too much danger of being caught, but I quickly put the diary back and left her room.
About an hour later there was a knock on my bedroom door and it didn’t surprise me at all that it was her. I was expecting her to tell me she knew about me being in her room from the position of her ceramic rainbow and she was going to tell mom. Then my mom would tell me that I’m not allowed in my sister’s room and ground me for a few days. This happened so often it was predictable.
She knocked and then walked right in without waiting for me to respond, which was normal. Like I wrote in my last entry there was always an expectation that I would respect her privacy but never any that she would respect mine. I’d had to live with the idea always in my head that even if I was in my room with the door shut there was always a chance she would walk right in at any time.
She had a somewhat disgusted look on her face and she said, “Come with me,” and motioned out of my room. Because I do treat her as an authority figure, I followed her without asking any questions. She goes into her room and I follow, knowing that I’m technically being invited in in this case.
She motions towards the small bookcase under her desk and I immediately know the problem. Her diary is always in a very specific place on that shelf, a spot on the edge where it is kind of hidden from view. In my hurry to put it back, I not only didn’t put it in the exactly place it normally is, but I also didn’t push it completely back where it would be hidden.
I knew I’d been caught and I knew there was no sense in denying it because it wouldn’t be believed. I just kind of stared at where she was pointing. I was thinking about how much trouble I was going to be in. My mother always emphasizes the importance of respecting my sister’s privacy, and reading her diary was about the biggest breach of that I could possibly commit.
I told her that I can’t read any of it. I said that I had taken it from the bookshelf to look through and had immediately heard her coming home and put it back. I don’t think she really believed me, but I could tell she wanted to.
I said, “Please don’t tell mom.” I had to try. But I could see from the look on her face there was no way this would go unpunished. I’m not entirely sure where this idea came from or why it popped into my head, but I pleaded: “You could punish me yourself! No need to get mom involved.”
The look on her face was a combination of intrigue and annoyance that I was implying her punishment wouldn’t be as strict as one from our mother. We started talking about it, almost like we were negotiating, even though I knew I didn’t have any leverage. I’m not sure why I wanted my sister to be able to punish me because I didn’t have any reason to believe she would be nicer than my mother.
We discussed a few ideas about how it could work, and we eventually settled one that wasn’t my favorite. We agreed we would go talk to our mom and tell her that I had done something (emphasizing that the “something” didn’t need to be revealed) and we were both in agreement that my sister should be the one who gives me a punishment for it. But we wanted confirmation that the punishment would be backed up by her motherly authority.
I was in trouble no matter what, so I was open to this new option. We went to talk to mom, I remember it felt kind of weird. Like I was the prisoner and she was the arresting officer. I sat there looking guilty while my sister explained the situation and asked permission to be the one to punish me.
I think I was expecting her to be OK with it. I wasn’t expecting her to be so enthusiastic about it. I was thinking she would approve the idea but say that she would have to review and agree on whatever punishment my sister came up with. But instead she went to the opposite extreme. She basically said that effective immediately, my sister could give me whatever punishments she deemed fit, and that it would be the same as if the punishments came from our mom.
We left and went back up to my room. We’d technically both gotten what we wanted, but I wasn’t sure what would happen next.
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