spare time in 2018

It’s a chilly day, the temperature is about 5 degrees outside.
I’ve been teaching Hollyn (6) how to cook and this morning she learned how to make waffles, they turned out really good. I’m also teaching her how to sew which is funny because I don’t sew, we’re both learning. I’d love to bake more Christmas cookies with the girls but we aren’t able to use our kitchen right now until we can get a new sink, install it and all. Sandwiches for dinner.
I’m feeling strange about not expanding our family more. The strange part being that this seems final and.... I don’t know how to live for myself? That doesn’t sound right but I can’t find any other way to put it. My kids are going to grow up, the youngest is 3, if there are no more kids to come then what will I be doing in life as they get older? I’m so use to every second being consumed by a baby or small child. Our oldest is 18 and has moved out, I had to take care of her special needs her whole life, one doctors appointment after another. It’s strange not to be running to different specialist appointments, changing diapers, having a baby on my hip constantly. May (3) is now completely out of pull ups even at night. No more diapers, I can’t wrap my head around that. They are getting so big and learning to care for themselves. I’m feeling a bit lost, what am I going to be doing with these spare moments that I have to myself? Someone please tell me that this is normal.