So much. Soon. in Give Me Mercy and a Minute now. I'm a bleed a little poison out.

I know I have been bad about writing. I just have been swamped with so much shit. There are big changes happening in the next couple months and I am both excited and nervous.more about that later.

My patiencs is dwindling so quickly. I am sick and tired of this shit where nothing I say is listened to when I know I am right. i am tired of the persistent negativity. All the doom and gloom and listening to the same shit of nobody cares or cares nobody loved me nobody gives a damn everyone hates me I lost my family. I don’t have a daughter or grandkids. There’s nothing left for me..blah blah blah. 1. I have been consistent but because she gets in a tiff with my shithead sister, I am automatically a villain. In spite of my consistently trying to get her to pull her head out of her ass. Oh and of course love the fact that I’m still around and trying to help, but to her she’s lost everything, she hasnt. And more and more with this shirt I realize how I actually haven’t been a part of this family. Perhaps that is why I don’t feel nearly as attached to these sentiments. And I can walk away and move on to better things easily. But regardless. Simple logic dictates that her hyper negative attitude towards anything and her attempts and premonitions of doom and gloom are her own doing now, she clings to this shit. And because of her shot she wallows in misery instead of seeing potential. This shit is simple energy. Kinetic and dynamic.
But because of her negativity and shit she lashes out at me and attacks me and groups me with the other people being shitty. And trying to make everything and everyone against her. Shot she has been trying to hold me responsible for her misery and bluntly. Fuck that. I have busted my as trying to help and solve problems and deal with shot while bein berated and shit on. Fuck that. She hinges so much of her sanity on my sister and it just reaffirms that i don’t mean shit regardless of what I do. So guck it. I will patiently wait the couple of months and then take what I get and move away from here. On to better things. Some freedom. But most importantly. Peace.

If we haven’t chatted in a bit…reach out. Always down for some good conversation