a platform in 2018

I can’t believe I’m here writing since my last entry was in 2014, or so it says. I’m normally a lurker and have my faves that I follow with passion, but I like to stay behind the scenes myself.
Personally, my reason for not writing entries has been my debilitating depression. I was diagnosed in 2014 after being treated for post partum depression with my last child. Taking antidepressants suddenly cleared up the fog somewhat, a fog I’d been living in my whole life. Rather poetic, I was finally able to see the details of leaves on the trees and it was beautiful.... my eyes were opened to a different, beautiful world. The apex of my clarity through prescription drugs has been through the past year when I finally was on the right dosage and concoction of medicines. I was skipping along, doing so many things like scheduling my days for the first time ever. Learning how to really live in many ways. Until.
Until.
My husband and I had a pregnancy contraceptive failure early November 2017. Frantically I called my psychiatrist who advised me to immediately stop taking my medications since there is a high risk of birth defects likely, due to rapid cell division associated with the medications I was taking. Immediately after stopping the medications I was at a non functioning level. I was devastated, having now seen for myself how clear my mind could be, it was a horrible feeling to be back in the dumps again. I had about three weeks to go before I could take a pregnancy test, then depending on the result another possible 8 months of being without medication and I didn’t know how I would ever manage that.
My doctor prescribed me a different medication for my anxiety which is “safe” to take during pregnancy but the side effects were horrible. I was dizzy and had poor balance, a constant feeling of vertigo. I took these pills for a few days before stopping. I was desperate for peace, calm, joy, for the fog to lift and to be able to manage my household chores, my children, homeschooling, my marriage, and other social interactions. I was desperate enough to put my hope and all my eggs into one basket, my last resort. I saw a book on our church’s library shelf called “Healing oils of the Bible”. Long story short, essential oils having been making a difference but not enough for me at a good enough functioning level of life. Here it comes: tea did it! Say whaaa? During my trip to my hometown in Germany in May of 2017 I went to a tea shop and thought it’d be nice to try something new (I am not much of a tea drinker). I was shocked when the lady working the counter asked me if I wanted to drink tea for pleasure or for relief of an ailment! I thought quickly and responded: “Well, I do get a good case of the winter blues”, which is technically not a lie… the Minnesota winters here make me feel like pieces of my soul are dying. She recommended a tea for me, I grabbed another recommended one for catching some zzzzz’s at night and off I went. Back in Minnesota I shoved the teas in a kitchen cupboard until that fateful, non-medicated, cold Minnesota day where I’d hit rock bottom and was juggling around a couple oily bottles. Why not try the tea, I asked myself. And so I did, and my life will never be the same. All I can say is wow. About twenty minutes after drinking it my fogginess cleared up a lot and my anxiety slowed down a lot too. I was at a functioning level. I drank my “magic tea” (haha) at about 9 in the morning and could feel it wear off a little starting at 5:30 pm. I slammed a cup of the nighttime tea and closed my eyes. “This might work”, I thought to myself. And it did. It has been working for me and I still can’t believe it! A few days ago my pregnancy test came out negative and I am for now decided that I am not going back on the medication but am drinking my tea, learning how to use essential oils, and trying to make more intentional and healthful food choices. I never thought I’d be “one of those people”, but life is good… my life is proof. I am not a doctor, I’m not selling anything, I’m just telling my story because it’s beautiful and has been life changing. I want to shout it from the rooftops