New to this. in Feeling low

Well yeah, as you can see I’m new to all this.
I don’t really feel comfortable talking to friends or family about how I feel most of the time, so I thought why not throw it out into the world and see what happens, hoping it will make me feel some what better to air it all rather than keep it stuck inside my mind day in and day out.
For a long time I’ve been anxious, depressed, sad, angry.. A mix of emotions that I can’t control and it makes me feel horrible inside, endless nights of crying away the nauseous feeling in my stomach and hoping I can keep my breathing steady enough as to not break into a full blown panic attack, and what’s the reason behind this you may ask? Well I’m right here with you asking too!
I haven’t really figured out what gets me like this, but I’ve just now had one of those nights, sat in my room, stared blankly at a paused TV screen for a good hour or two, just feeling uneasy, not wanting to move from my bed, trying not to let my brain race over a hundred thoughts, but that just seemed to make it worse, so eventually I break down into tears, breathing gets out of control and before you know it I feel like the loneliest person on the planet, although parents and family are in the house, boyfriend only a text away and I feel like I have nothing and no one, I feel as if my life is going nowhere, trapped in an endless pit of despair that erupts into frustration at everything and everyone, even though I dont mean it.
Then I snap back out of it, I pull myself together and try and see that everything is fine, but it’s just not fine, I’m starting to think it never will be.
Where am I going in life, where will I end up, am I just a waste here?
Head is frantic, this entry probably doesn’t make much sense but I hope to make sense of myself and my future.