Insomnia rears its head over hurt feelings. I hold myself responsible at this point due to the simple fact that I did not say anything and as she turned over to go to sleep my exhaustion passed with pings in the mind of unworthiness.
A lot of the time I allow myself to feel unimportant. If I do not speak up about my feelings how is she supposed to know what truths I hold.
I’ve seen sadness in her eyes lately. I questioned what was inside her window. She speaks softly about not being sad just bored. She doesn’t speak to anyone, she doesn’t hang out with anyone, she doesn’t do anything of excitement to her.
A lot of territory reached lately about the fact that she doesn’t really know who she is. I expressed that I will be right here through her navigation.
Some nights the insomnia brings me to dark places. Shadows in the night poking around my memories.
Constant state of transition.
Why is it I can take her not cuddling with me before bed as something so deep. Why do I suggest to myself that I don’t deserve certain things when within I already know the truth.
Questions ring through my mind as I fade in and out. Maybe it’s time I attempt sleep again
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