Seven days until I fly out to Colorado. It's all I think about.
Except.
I stopped taking Listinopril, some blood pressure medication for my diabetes, about a month ago because I had to experiment with it. I only took 5 mg of it in the first place, and it's a huge help to my diabetes and "compromised immune system" (I put it in quotes not because I don't believe it, but because I don't know how compromised it is). Removing the bp meds has changed my mental state.
I've always been incredibly sensitive to drugs. All drugs. Everything. Caffeine, alcohol, nutrasweet, etc, and sugar. And... everything. So I've been 110% up on writing, proofing, etc. But also, and this is the focus of my secondary world (the world outside Aspen):
I see people. More people. People who aren't there. Houses that clamp down like a whole floor of the place simply smashing into the ground, disappearing completely. Strange, strange crap that confuses me. I can't talk to anyone about it except the ex, and I don't want to talk to her, so I don't. Before I met her I spent my whole life convincing myself it was my imagination. Creative vectoring and shape-recognition. Now that the bp meds are gone, I see so much more. Or maybe not.
Namely, a twelve foot tall guy in a white t-shirt and yellow, circular graphic on the chest. I've seen him four times now. First time I just said it was a tree flashing strange off my headlights. Second time I ignored it. Third time I started looking. Fourth I verified. I don't get it. But whatever.
I met a man today that acted like Marty, all grown up and older. He had a dog he didn't know how to discipline, had a large home, was a lawyer. Nice guy. Wanted to know everything I did. Had the onset of Alzheimer's so he asked me the same thing, what, six times while I was there. I declined his 50 buck tip--and he got upset, confused, hurt by it. "Why not? You were here for six hours." Well. I can't take it. I got a strange feeling. So I declined.
Also due to the meds being gone, my jokes have become a little stranger. I make comments that I think are funny but aren't (which is normal), but I also make comments that I think make sense, but when I read them, or think over them, a moment later, they are odd and unrelated. It's frustrating me.
Overall I'm wondering if I should get back on the Listinopril. Also, if I get one more well-meaning pharmacist or doctor or nurse-elite telling me "It's not possible for 5mg of that bp medication to have such an effect on you," I'm going to punch, knuckles out. I'm not asking you whether you think it's happening, I'm TELLING you it's happening. It isn't a debate. This isn't in question. Major difference. And "you're creating this yourself" just doesn't cut it. I've spent too much time trying to figure this stuff out for an acolyte of Science to tell me, "You're lying." Why? No.
I'm hungry. I think... black bean-kielbasa soup. Sweeeeeeet.
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