In the summer Darrin bought a house. After that the deployments began. In total we would experience 6 deployments together. He was done with school, and his promotion had gone though. There was nothing keeping him from being sent. He left for the first time shortly after we had moved in. Things were settled for the most part, and I felt like I was in a pretty good position. I had transferred to another Head Start District and launching the school year consumed most of my time.
Darrin’s deployments were set to last 6 months. Communication was usually limited to emails which could be sent and received twice daily. So I would reply to his evening email and he would receive it in the morning, printed out and delivered by the communication’s officer. You can imagine that put a damper on some of what was said.
When I learned he was going to be in Puerto Rico for an extended port call, I did the logical thing and flew to be with him. He had 4 days of leave and we made the most out of them. If I can be completely honest with you – I thought he was going to propose to me while I was there. I thought for sure it would happen. It did not. But we did have a wonderful experience, and the best thing that happened was that I was able to take him out into the countryside where he met all four of my grandparents. I come from a military family and both of my retire sergeant grandfathers were thrilled to drink beer and talk army with my soldier. It would end up being the only opportunity Darrin ever had to meet my father’s father and I am forever grateful it occurred.
I returned home without a ring or a promise, but not without hope. They brought Darrin home in time for Christmas that year, and we celebrated with his kids. We got a big tree and I dressed Lio the dog up as an elf. It was around this time that Darrin and I started our tradition of buying Christmas ornaments whenever we went on an adventure. This isn’t a tradition we continue to this day, but it lasted quite a few years.
They second deployment began quite soon after the first. This one would prove much harder for me. I began to struggle with depression. Work was extremely difficult and though I requested and received counseling from my employer at the end of the year I was let go. I was heartbroken. I feared what Darrin would say knowing I was unemployed. I felt like a failure. But of course, Darrin didn’t care about that at all. He only had concern for me.
A miracle was unfolding in Darrin’s heart during that deployment. He was reading books and talking to a friend. He asked me what I would think about going to church when he came back. I told him that was fine with me. I had been a raised Catholic Christian and I had taken my faith very seriously in the past. Years before I had a falling out with God and I walked purposefully away. I still believed he was real though, and when Darrin and I first began dating I confirmed that he also had a belief in God and Jesus, he just didn’t do anything about it. This had all been fine by me, and when Darrin started getting excited about faith I encouraged it. I really had nothing against Christianity or the Church. I just didn’t trust God all that much. Now with the depression and the loss of my job I really didn’t have the strength to resist faith. If Darrin wanted to go there, I would too.
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