People who "act funny" get on my last nerve. in A New Beginning

Okay, so now my sister Carol is acting funny. I try to make time to see her and do things with her. That used to mean a lot to her; that is why I did it…plus I did it because I love her and we have fun together. But now when I suggest, “Do you think maybe we could do something together on Saturday?” she’s like “I guess. I don’t know what we can do though.”

And so then I’m like “Well can you think of anyplace you’d like to go?” and she’s like, “I don’t know.” And whatever I think of, she’s like “Well I guess.” WTF. She said she isn’t sure how much walking she can do; she hasn’t been walking. Well, whatever. I am thinking she is building up to making an excuse to not go out with me and Sandy next week. But I mean, on the other hand, I realize she has her health issues....and she IS declining, though it seems like it’s been a slow decline. So I honestly don’t know. I told her that I don’t want to EVER push her to do more than she feels like doing. I don’t mind if we just go out to lunch. I don’t mind if I just go over and we visit at the house! I know this....my sister Carol is not “dying” in the really imminent sense, but. Her kidney disease is progressing. :o( It will happen. I feel her drawing away, turning inward. I want her to be alone as much as she wants to be, but NOT more than she wants to be, you know?? But how do I know how much that is? She has never been one to voice her needs or ask anybody for anything; YET she has voiced hurt or resentment when people don’t do what she needs. She’s always been one of those “But you would think they would know ____” kinds of people. And right now, I do not know. And I don’t like trying to guess, when nobody is willing to even tell you if you got it right or wrong or sorta right or kinda wrong

Shoot, I just realized that, having written that, I am not really in the mood to write anything else right now. That kinda sucks, too, because Guinness is actually lying down sleeping next to me right now instead of asking me to play! :o) MY PROBLEM IS THAT I CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT OTHERS AND HOW THEY FEEL. I used to think “I’m not an empath,” but recently I’ve come to realize that hell yes, I am an empath to the very core of my being. I know how people feel. But so often, people DENY how they feel if you bring it up! Why can’t people just be honest about their feelings?! But I know the answer to that. Well, there’s more than one reason, obviously. But one reason is that a lot of people hold it against other people if they show or tell how they feel. They try to make others feel guilty or ashamed about how they feel. Or they just don’t get it, which can make you feel stupid or frustrated or both, along with a lot of other things!

My bff Wendy always understands how I feel.

Our daughter Carrie often does, but always WANTS to understand. She will ask me to explain, and really LISTEN and give credence to what I say, and nearly always understand, having listened.

Our son Joey. He and I are very much alike. If there’s anyone MOST like me emotionally, it’s probably him.

And Joe often just plain doesn’t get it, wants me to explain, STILL doesn’t get it, and ends up PISSING ME OFF. Lucky thing he has a lot of redeeming features, huh? ;o)

Well there! I did think of more to write after all!