Feeling like I should write. in Sparkly Springtime (April onwards) 2017

Life, life, life. And working in a job where confidentiality is key… I told my boss about this place the other day, although without the name of it. You see, I was in a meeting with her as a parent as opposed to an employee and she’s worried about me, she thinks I need more support so I tried to explain my online support systems. I mentioned an online blog I write (this place), in which I link up with other parents and how cathartic it is. I also told her about various Facebook groups I’m in - the most specific is a support group for parents of girls with high functioning autism!

Then of course there’s the running.

Last summer I dropped the GPS factor. It was partly enforced because my new phone had a shit GPS signal and running with it was frustrating. I ditched it and loved the freedom i felt from it. Then, a few months ago, I was on a 20km run and couldn’t find music that didn’t irritate me. Eventually, with just over a kilometer to go, I realised that it was the music in general that was annoying! I haven’t listened to music since that moment. I’m finding running to be a far more personal thing; an introspective thing. I no longer want to run races because my running isn’t about taking part with others any more, it’s about being with myself. It’s about being in the moment. Noticing my surroundings, listening to the dawn chorus and watching the local wildlife eat breakfast. Counting my breaths and listening to my footsteps.

I read a great piece of advice last year: don’t think of how far you have to run but think of how far you’ve already gone. It changed things. Instead of the thought of still having five miles to go, those five miles feeling like a mountain ahead of me, I started to think of the five miles I had already run. I picture those paths as a ribbon fluttering behind me. It’s uplifting to know that I’ve ready gone that far.

So, should I seek more local support networks? I really don’t know. I’m feeling far too hermity at the moment - probably a side effect of working in such a busy, people filled job. shrugs. I really don’t know.

I was woken early this morning by the light; an eerie orange light, not just the sky but the air glowing like a Martian sunrise. Then the storm started. Thunder rolling in, lightning slicing the air. It’s still stampeding in the distance and I love it. I think the cats do too as they sat on the windowsill watching the storm travel over.

Half term starts today, new windows will happen next week and so life will be busy.