Tell me I’m not alone, that many of you are just like me, that we dream of a future that’s very unlikely to be.
You understand right?
When you think about someone you barely know.
When you wonder what it might be like.
I tend to picture the little things.
The moments I imagine would make me smile.
I don’t focus on the things i know are dramatically up for change.
Like the house, car, vacations, children, marriage, furniture, or the countless other aspects that would define what we consider life.
Instead its the very small moments.
My dreams are often very vague.
Settings a blur, like an unfocused camera where the only thing in the image that’s clear is the people.
Even they are bound to change from what I can only imagine. As we all do in time.
However the best way to describe these moments is to have you imagine one yourself.
When you think of that stranger, you know the one.
They seem wonderfully odd. They incite curiosity somewhere deep inside.
You can always seem to spot them in a crowded room.
Hear their voice over many others, through all the background noise of even the most busy environments.
At this point you know they’re toxic, the damage they can inflict is already more than anyone else you know.
Their opinion and views mean something to you.
I’ve tried to not care, to not listen or look.
Deny myself from feeling the need to understand them more.
I haven’t had any success.
Like a moth to a flame…
Happily to hurt, if it will mean I can free myself from this prison.
But back to creating the only thing it seems I can.
The vision of what lulls me to sleep each night.
It’s them, the stranger of your dreams.
Both of you in arms embrace.
Simply there… together.
A kiss, arms wrapped around each other, and that warm feeling in your chest that makes you feel lighter.
I don’t dare imagine anything more.
Why spoil the surprise?
Even if it’s beyond unlikely at this point.
They probably aren’t even what i want anyway.
But it all depends on what it is they want.
I’m not asking for anything much.
I just wish they’d say what kind of deal is available.
If it’s something I’d consider or not, I don’t know.
Why must everything be so damn complicated?
Or do I just do this to myself somehow?
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