Things have been pretty shitty lately. Let's start with how my step son just royal fucked me over. Ok first of all, in case any one missed it, Bradley has a son he adopted from a Boy's Ranch that is now 21. He plays football for the university of tennessee. His mom was a piece of shit and doesn't even know who his dad is She abandoned him at the Boy's Ranch when he was 12 because she just didn't feel like being a mom. Ok. Whatever.
Despite me only being like, 6 years older than him, I've taken on the role of "mom" with him. He calls me mom, I really love and care about him, and we have a pretty good relationship. So when he asked me to cosign on this apartment that he wanted to move into during the summer (this past summer), I agreed. I was a little apprehensive, but I felt like this is what parents are for. And he's never had anyone yo rely on and my parents would do the same for me. So I signed on it. This was like back in April or May maybe.
Flash forward to last week. When I got a call from a fucking debt collector telling me I owed this apartment complex like $1800. The fuck??? What? I was shocked. I had no idea what was going on. turns out he signed the lease but never moved out because his grades were so shitty, that the football team wouldn't allow for him to move out of the dorms. And by shitty, I mean like a 1.9 GPA. Who the fuck gets a 1.9 GPA? Really?
So when I was 18 I got my first credit card, ordered a Chi flat iron and began building my credit because I knew how important it was. I've continued to build my credit and have like a 750 credit score. And I intend to keep it that way. So when that was being threatened, I had to go ahead and pay the fucking money. Did I mention I have $2000 tuition that is due this Friday?
Did I also mention this is not the first time he's been completely financially irresponsible? I am on his bank account and am constantly monitoring and shuttling in money because he's always going in the negative. Have I mentioned I've NEVER gotten a thank you for all the times I put in money? And I'm talking about 50-100 dollars on numerous occasions.
Did I also mention that I've talked to Bradley numerous times before telling him he needed to talk to his son about not buying shit he can't afford (aka netflix and x-box live subscriptions?!?!). But he never did that. And now look what happened.. I had to shell out $1800 of my own money for something I had nothing to do with. I am beyond pissed. Oh, and I haven't gotten an apology from him either. Actually, I haven't heard from him at all. Nor have I gotten a "Ill do whatever I can to pay you back." Nope. I just got fucked and he get's to carry on with his life carefree. I'm so over him not being accountable for his actions.
This has caused a lot of conflict between Bradley and I. I'm just disgusted he'd allow for this to happen. I'm tired of being the breadwinner. I'm tired of everything having to go in my name because his credit sucks. I'm tired of having to pay for all the shit in a house I don't even live in. I pay for the internet, the cable, all the furniture, the car insurance, etc. Why the fuck am I paying for all this shit when I don't even live there. Why am I paying for the car insurance for both of us when it's for both of us??? The only thing he pays is his truck payment, which guess what, thats in my name too! He pays his mortgage, light, and water bills. That's it. Is it just me, or is that totally uneven? I'm just so fucking over it. And I'm over hearing "It's not always going to be like this. I'll be taking care of you one day..." Really? When? I can see how finances is the number one reason for divorce because I am getting so fucking fed up with this shit.
I feel like I can do bad all by myself. I am so conservative with my money, but yet I'm throwing it away in a house that I can't even live in. An ungrateful son, legal expenses, etc. If I'm just gonna toss all this money around, I'd rather spend on more constructive things.. like my tuition. Or my car loan. Or cassidy. But no. Gets getting sucked into a bottomless pit.
I've been seriously thinking about life without Bradley. I've been thinking about it a lot lately actually. I'm not happy. And haven't been in a while.
On another depressing note, my little brother/best friend is moving to Scotland on Tuesday. To say I'm devastated would be an understatement. I have been going through random bouts of crying for the past three weeks. He's my only true friend. I can talk to him about anything and always get honesty, whether I want it or not. I love him and I am really going to miss him.
Well so much for my new year resolution of being more positive.
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