So I’ve made a friend out here finally. It took a long time. Of course, I’ve never been very good at making friends. Rachel has said about me that I’m an enigma because I’m super friendly person with no friends, and I kind of hate to admit that it feels like it’s true.
A couple of weeks ago, Crystal at church asked me if I wanted to bring my kids over to her place for a play date. She commented that she hated that term but didn’t know what else to call it, and I immediately liked her for saying that because I also hate that term. She has kids the same age as mine and they seem to like each other, so I gladly agreed.
We went to her house one afternoon while Jayson was at work. She lives close to us so that was convenient. I was awkward at first, didn’t really know what to do with myself, but the kids went out into the yard to play and I was left alone with Crystal in her kitchen. We talked a bit, mostly about church since it’s the thing that connects us. I talked a bit about how my ward in Boston differs from the one out there.
Then suddenly she yells out, “Oh, fuck! I forgot I’m teaching Sunday School next week.”
I was admittedly shocked she said that. She apologized, and commented that she hoped her language didn’t offend me. I said not at all, I’ve just noticed that members don’t tend to swear and I’ve been careful to watch my language to fit it. She said, “Right? I don’t get it. There’s no commandment that says ‘thou shalt not swear.’” I liked that.
She warned me that she could have a filthy vocabulary and said I could feel free to swear in her presence too. It felt freeing.
This was the ice breaker we needed. We started gossiping about various church members. One person in particular Crystal described as a “fucking cunt” and I couldn’t stop laughing when she said that. I’d never expected to here anyone at church say something like that.
I had such a great time with her and really looked forward to seeing more of her. We started texting each other and it was nice to have a text friend other than my sisters.
The next time we were together she admitted to me that she’s bisexual. That floored me. I’ve heard that there are LGBT members of the church, but didn’t really understand how that would work since the church teaches that homosexuality is a sin. I asked her about it and she said she does in fact believe that it’s a sin. She said, “I can’t help the fact that I feel attraction to women, but I know that if I were to actually act upon those feelings I’d be sinning. It’s a part of who I am and I accept that. It’s not a huge deal since I’m not going to cheat on my husband anyway…“
I jokingly asked her what other church surprises she has for me and she said, “You first.” I pondered for a moment if it was actually a safe enough place to admit things to her, then decided that I could. I told her that I masturbate and lie to the bishop about it. She laughed really hard. She said of course I do, we all do. She said there were probably a few people in the church that don’t masturbate, but most of us do and lie about it. That made me feel so much better.
Next Sunday is fast and testimony meeting. I got a text last night from Crystal that said “I hate fast Sunday, lets play hookie.” I wrote back, “Leave the kids with Jayson? I’d feel bad.”
She responded, “Tell him that I feel sick and I’m staying home and I’ve asked you to come stay with me. That’s a nice thing for you to do, he won’t give you a hard time.”
So I did exactly that. I lied to Jayson. Crystal is a bad influence. But I’m really happy to have a friend. And I’m really looking forward to Sunday.
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