You know, last night was probably the first night I’ve counted sheep in a long time. But, to be honest, It didn’t help me sleep all that much. Besides the leftover Pepsi I had from the fridge a little earlier, it was mainly because something on my mind. It wouldn’t seem to stop bothering me. Some people would’ve probably brushed it off with no problems at all. Frankly, I’m not like most people. I have a hard time letting certain things go. And here I was, at my cottage, which is surrounded by a beautiful lake & far away from the stupid bullshit that I’m constantly involved in. You think with the relaxing setting, with also being accompanied by my father & his new girlfriend, it wouldn’t bother me, right? Nope! It wouldn’t leave me alone and it kept me up for a while.
The thing that bothered me the most was the company I kept around. I mean, I never saw them during the week. But no matter what I did, there was always some kind of problem that was hanging there. And when I did see them on the weekend, it was the worst. I don’t mind having my balls busted a couple times, but with them…it was ridiculous. The non-stop shit talking, rumor spreading, boasting & bragging was driving me nuts! I should also mention they are all guys. I mean, I did my best to keep my mouth shut, in order to just get through the night and have a good time. However, lately I’ve hanging out with them less & less. It’s helped a lot! I don’t have to hear them talk about the same shit every weekend. But then this weekend was different. I was on Facebook scrolling through my news feed. I came across a simple status that one of my friends posted. “Who wants to chill? Inbox me”. Now, It wasn’t so much the status, but the comments that followed. A couple of the guys I know started commenting that she should call me up. This is where things started to bother me. They were doing it because they were jealous. Even before this, they had been doing this behind my back ever since we started dealing with each other. Me and this girl had a thing for a bit and they never even had a chance with her. Keep in mind that I say we had a thing “for a bit”. I was never dating her & these guys were getting pissed off at something like that. Really? These guys are in their 20s and they’re acting like teenagers in high school? Gimme a fucking break! I’m 23 years old and I’m done dealing with this kind of crap.
So, the thing that kept me up last night was “Would I be making the right move by cutting them out completely?” I’ve got a few close friends & my family. In September, I will be attending college. I got the most monotonous job in the world, but it pays. Honestly, maybe it would be the right move. I would just be really bored with myself. You know what? As I write this, I feel like it is the right thing to do. I wasn’t so sure when up I last night. But after typing this up, it seems to make a lot of sense. I know this is the stupidest thing to write about. But like I said, I write whatever I feel. If you’ve gotten to the very end & read every word, then thank you. I’m glad you actually took the time to read my entry.
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