I'm 31 weeks now. Still vomiting but I'm hanging in there.
I had a bit of a meltdown at the doctors office during my last appointment. Both mom and Bryan were there and I was like sob I cant sob do this sob anymore sob its too hard sob my baby doesn't have anywhere to sleep sob. Luckily my doctor is a 6'4 black family man and was like yall look here...this girl is almost 8 months pregnant. Get your head outcha asses and help her get ready for this baby cause he's going to be here very soon. They hung their heads in shame and said yes sir.
That night mom, dad, and Bryan all started moving furniture around, washing walls, shampooing carpets, and putting baby furniture together. They continued for several days and now all thats left to do is hang the nursery letters that spell out his name.
My shower was a complete disaster. I HATE other moms of course and hate talking to other moms about mommy things. Well I shouldn't of been surprised that none of my alcoholic bar hopping pot smoking single friends came. Only one person came who wasn't a mother and it was a tad awkward for her to be there since she's had three abortions, one of which I paid for. So I had to put my game face on and pretend to be pleasant and sweet and funny. It wore me the fuck out.
After everyone left Bryan came home from his diaper party drunk as can be. I cannot stand him when he's drunk. He gets so fucking loud and is one of those I'm not drunk peoples. Ugh. He was obnoxious for a few hours and then I finally broke down crying again. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want the damn shower in the first place and all I wanted was for my boo to come home and hold me but instead he ranted about racism and movies at the top of his lungs tripping over end tables and stubbing his toes.
After he passed out I stood in the shower and cried and held my belly. Every inch of my body hurt and I started to get scared I was going into labor. I sat down in the shower and stayed there until the water went cool.
I guess I'm the same as any mom to be. I'm really scared and excited at the same time. I want my body back. I want my sharp focussed mind back. I want my energy and my stomach and my ability to walk up stairs without getting winded back. Mostly though I really want to meet my son.
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