Baby Shiloh is here :) *Pics* in My Metamorphosis

Thanks so much for all the nonjudgmental advice on the induction. I was on the fence about it, but decided to go ahead and get induced at 39w1day and I am so glad I did!

This labor and delivery was 100x better than Cassidy’s. My birth experience with her was long, painful, and traumatic. So I was full of anxiety heading into the hospital. Back up, the night before Bradley, Cassidy, and I went out to eat for our last supper as a family of three. It was bittersweet. Actually, mostly just bitter because the food was terrible and I was big and uncomfortable and ready to be at home and in bed. Anyways, we had to be at the hospital at 5am and surprisingly I was able to go right to bed. Bradley took me bright in early and Cassidy was able to get herself off to school just fine.

We checked in, and similar to my labor with Cassidy, I was already having regular contractions before they even started the pitocin. I was at a 4 and 70% effaced when I was admitted. Once they started the pitocin, the contractions quickly intensified. Unlike with Cassidy, they gave me the epidural (OUCH) once I reached 5cm and BEFORE they broke my water. Which was so nice - I recall the water breaking part being especially painful with her. Getting the epidural was extremely painful this time - apparently my spine is curved and so he had a difficult time finding the right spots - so it felt like he was just sticking me willy nilly until he finally found where he was supposed to be. Took forever and was probably the worst part of it all. I wasn’t progressing much (stuck at a 5-6) when the nurse started freaking out about the baby’s oxygen levels and heart rate.

Cue panic mode.

They put the oxygen mask on me, took me off the pitocin, and kept switching my laying position in an attempt to help. I was so worried. Instant guilt set in. Like, this is all my fault for doing the induction, what have I done?? My OB came in and did some stuff and finally I guess stuff regulated.

Then my mom came in.

I did NOT want her there. That was NOT part of the birth plan. She was NOT actively involved in my pregnancy at all and I just wanted it to be me and Bradley. She claimed she was just gonna be there during the laboring part, not the actual delivery, but no. It brought back terrible memories of being 17, in L&D with my mom and her condescending remarks. She was the same now.. calling me a wuss for getting an epidural among other not so subtle digs. My issues with her are too much for this entry, so I’ll just it leave it right there.

No one had checked me in a while when I buzzed the nurse in telling her I felt like I needed to push. Three sets of three pushes later I gave birth to an 8 pound 6 oz baby boy! I guessed he was gonna be 8-4. I knew he’d be a big boy (again so glad I got induced almost a week early!). Bradley was THE BEST coach ever! He was so good to me. It was an incredible thing to experience with him and made me fall in love with him anymore. He is the best dad and husband ever. He was so good to me during the pregnancy and he has been so great postpartum. He’s so hands-on and does everything to make life easier for me as I recover and get used to life with a newborn.

If you’ve read me, you know how apprehensive I was about having a second child. I didn’t know how I felt about it and didn’t think I could love him as much as I love Cassidy. But oh my Gosh, I am in LOVE! I love being a mom again. I am so happy. And even though I’m sleep deprived and my boobs are huge and hurt, I am SO HAPPY. I do NOT want to go back to work. The thought of leaving him makes me so sad. I feel so complete now, he’s the perfect addition to our family.

He’s two weeks old now and doing wonderful! Breastfeeding is going good, the painful nipples part has finally passed. The recovery from labor has been rough. Despite getting an episiotomy, I still tore and had to get 30 stitches - including in my ureathra! (sorry tmi). The bleeding is finally starting to subside. I am ready to feel 100% so I can start working out some. The massive swelling (and cankles) have gone away and I feel a lot lighter. I need a scale bc I am curious how much I weigh, though I know I have a LONG way to go.

Okay he’s crying so I gotta run, I’ll leave y’all with some pics!