I finally found a new urologist here. It’s hard finding new doctors after moving to a completely different place. And since most people who see urologists tend to be men, and men who are going to have their penises examined usually don’t like to see female doctors, it can be hard to find a female urologist.
But I did. And I really like her. She has examined me quite thoroughly and has done several of the same tests I’ve already done back in Boston. She has made several of the same suggestions that I got back in Boston. None of which have worked in the past and I’ve told her that.
I loved that she was blunt. She told me things I needed to hear. She actually came right out and said that my infection that led to my incontinence was likely from having sex with “unclean” partners. When I asked her what she meant by that, we talked for a while about how STDs are not the only thing that need to be worried about, you are also exposed to a lot of bacteria during sex. I guess I knew that, but I liked that she wasn’t afraid to blame my problem on what I always knew was the cause anyway. My Boston doctor liked to sugarcoat things.
When I told her I’ve worn diapers for more than 8 years, she was appalled. She said there “absolutely” is a fix for my problem, she just needs to figure out what it is.
Then after that piece of good news, she told me that I needed to lose weight. She said this wasn’t optional. She went into full lecture mode about how being overweight is more unhealthy than anything else, and that I needed to focus on that aspect of my health while she focused on my bladder.
When I stood on her scale it read 202. I was mortified. This was the first time I’ve weighed more than 200. I was fully dressed, of course, and when I got home and weighed myself again I was 199, but still.
She told me I had a little bit of diaper rash, which I didn’t even notice. I was embarrassed for having it, and even more embarrassed for not knowing I had it.
We made an appointment for next month and she told me she wanted me to be 190 or less when I came back. I promised I would work on my weight.
When I got home I cried a lot. It was a good thing though. I feel like I really needed her tough love attitude.
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