I woke up, had my water with lemon. Thought about coffee but declined. Watched the clock until my bank branch opened at 9AM.
It is only about 5 minutes away and I arrived right on time. I told the teller I was there to sign documents related to the shenanigans going on with my daughter’s account.
God I love small towns. To a degree. When I lived in large cities or military towns I was used to being essentially anonymous and having to explain everything in detail about why was at a particular establishment.
I’ll be damned. The teller knew my name. I go in there maybe three times a years.
I shave daily. I am taller than your average Maine male. I am supremely confident in public.
But how in the world does a teller remember my name?
Yes, she is cute. Yes she is age appropriate. I couldn’t find a good time to grab her card.
An hour standing there while they tried to untangle the paperwork goat rope. It took me a while to realize she was kinda hot.
Finally all was said and done, and I actually had to ask “am I good now?” I had been joking with her for most of an hour.
Then she went back to the computer and did something else. Then gave me the oddest look. I did not know what to make of it. On the way back to the car I was kicking myself that I didn’t grab one of her cards.
Once home I was back to watching the clock. Family get together at Maxwell’s at noon.
Showed up, parked and made my way to the table.
Fucking Stupid Phones.
We sat there and ordered. While my nephew, his son, and my sister were all face down in those brain sumps. Brian literally said five words in an hour and a half. Non-stop texting. My sister, who is only 8 years younger than me was just as bad. My mom was a bit exasperated.
I had a momentary fantasy where I would carry a mallet anytime I walked into a restaurant and would snatch the stupid phone of anyone sitting in a group and smash it in front to the asshat who found that flat glass screen more interesting than the people they went to lunch with.
I am convinced this is the end of human civilization. I can only hope for a zombie apocalypse.
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