Weird day. I tried to sleep in, but if I get up to pee and there is anything approximating sunlight visible I am up for the day. Days are getting shorter, but my east facing bathroom means light pouring in by 5am.
I watched a few episodes of Law and Order until I got to episodes I have already seen.
The rest of the day was a waste. Washed the car. Didn’t feel the love enough to do the waxing.
Late in the afternoon I call the folks and talked to Mom.
A few weeks ago turns out that a high school friend of mine works with the husband of someone who knows my sister. He passed on his phone number saying he has been trying to find me for years.
Which of course is total bullshit. Because my parents live in the same house they have lived in since 1979. In fact almost all of our friends live in the same houses or neighborhoods they did in high school. I am not particularly hard to find.
I must retell the story from the beginning, because while I have told it repeatedly on OD, I don’t know that I have gone into much detail here.
We moved into the house my folks live in now in 1979. Dad was in the process of retiring and with four kids it took a lot of planning to get settled. That was the year I got the job as a lifeguard. The first few months of my senior year of High School were misery. I was a military brat, and we didn’t know a clique from a clack. I learned fast and kept my head down. Operational plan being to not draw attention to myself and vanish when we graduated.
After High School I went to a Military College in Alabama. In 1980 Reagan was elected, and my Pell grant disappeared so I had to go to plan B. I could have continued to rack up debt via students loans. I applied to and was accepted to the University of Alabama.
Gawd! How much fun it would have been to go to the University of Alabama. Do you have any idea how hot chicks at UA are? Plan was to live with and help out my grandparents, work part time and go to school.
At the time it would not have been that far fetched to attempt a walk on position with the football team. I was big, I was fast. I had shit for hands and couldn’t catch a football to save my life. That made me an offensive lineman and a defensive back.
Alas it wasn’t to be, so I moved back to Maine. I enlisted in the Air Force under the delayed entry program. Worked for LL Bean.
Spent the preponderance of my nights at Roller World.
My friends got me into skating, and remember this was the early 80s. That was where all the girls were.
I met a girl from Bath. Tammy. Her father worked at BIW.
When I went off to Air Force Basic, my friend - who shares the same first name - moved in on my girlfriend and eventually married her.
Didn’t last a year. But kind of fucked up a friendship.
So. He passes his number along through this convoluted chain of custody.
Finally today I called. It went straight to voice mail, so I left a message. I might try again, I might not.
I don’t exactly know what I am feeling about this all. Attempting to reconcile things, I suppose.
After failing to contact dude I paced for a while. Something felt off kilter.
Then wrote a long email to Audrey, spilling all my feelings about everything I have felt since the day I first saw her.
I don’t know if that was smart, but it certainly was cathartic.
I don’t have a single academic excuse why I cannot let go of that girl.
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