SO......whats up pirate people? I am currently STRESSED OUT OF MY MIND. my eyes are bleeding from working with computers 16 hours a damn day. I am SO TIRED of working both jobs. It just equates to me being on #teamnodaysoff. I mean im so serious. the life of a mommy and a wife never stop....but add 2 jobs on that?
sheesh (laughs)
i know some of you know what it is. couple that with my negatory and non existsent social life and well....there ya go. so....update on the court case.
I WON
i cant believe it. I mean, seriously. i won. I know it was the right thing to do....but let me tell you this court case made a bitch extra crazy. I havent been able to get soul sistah off my mind. and i wonder if she ever thinks about me as much as i think about her. granted, now as of late my thoughts have been extremely negative but....
i still love her
and i still miss her
and our friendship.
laughs
isnt that crazy? i mean, this girl....USED me. and when she was done she DUMPED me. our friendship and everything we built together for years. maybe i wasnt as deep as she wanted/needed me to be. maybe i wasnt as understanding as she wanted me to be. i mean, we both had our lives and i did what i could to help her, but i guess it wasnt enough.
and believe me yall, im tired of feeling that way. like im not enough.
everything has been lacking in my life lately except for Joey. I mean that kid is amazing and wonderful and…hes just the best damn thing ever,
BUT
i miss being Dee. I miss travis focusing on me. I miss our sex life. I miss going out and all of these things. I miss friends (cause ALL of my friends down here…just…ugh). <<–thats a whole different story.
I miss not having to bust ass from sun up to sun down. and I KNOW GUYS
ok?
I FLIPPING KNOW
you HAVE to grind to MAINTAIN but…i would make such an awesome philantropist.
like seriously? thats my effin DREAM right there. to make so much money or have so much money i can work on all the things i LOVE.
and let me tell you, i have some fantastic ideas. from starting an agency to help people like me, to going to school and finishing my counseling degree,…and finally expressing my writing. Getting it OUT THERE. maybe finishing a BOOK that ive been working on that the characters are just not....meshing? i dont know.
but i want that opportunity. I dont know with how beat down ive been lately that i can make this happen. but, i will never give up. i guess i just need a genuine vacation to rest, recuperate, and start getting shit done again.
disney dreams wont pay for themselves.
and joe and i and even travis all deserve the disney vacation of our dreams one day.
this is why i sigh all day. maybe its just seasonal affective disorder. winter always makes me sad. i truly hope thats it. and the nicer weather rolling around should be a balm to my ragged insides.
i hope you all are having a lovely week....if anyone even still reads this or me....i dont know. i miss having a pirate crew....that much is true.
and here this link? right here? click it. CLICK IT NOW.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10208796770374695&l=faaccbab1a
pretty cute eh? thats alllll mines
blessed be all!!
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