yesterday, we had Freddie baptized. it was a nice ceremony. luckily, it was only a baptism ceremony and not a full on catholic mass or else we would have been there for at least 2 hours. Freddie was blessed by the Deacon and now hubby and family are happy. we had him baptized in an old family christening gown heirloom that has been passed down for generations in my family. he just fit! i think if we waited any longer, he wouldn’t have been able to wear it. we took some pictures afterwards with the deacon and in the church and then we all came back to our apartment for dinner and cake.
i made spaghetti and meatballs, and a white veggie lasagna (my mother in law can’t have tomatoes). everything was going well all afternoon, except it was very hot with the oven on, despite the air conditioners being up high. there were also about 15 people in our small apartment (we’re in a third story walk-up), so that didn’t help any. but whatever. everyone enjoyed dinner and we were all getting along.
i was cleaning up in the kitchen after serving everyone cake and one of my guests came in to tell me my mother in law, father in law and sister in law were giving Freddie cake. Dann and i haven’t even discussed when we’re giving our child processed sugars and other foods like that, so we both walked into the room and dann got a little nasty with his family. he took freddie and said the baby wasn’t allowed to have cake and they needed to ask us first. reasonable request, but he was a little mean about it. he was upset. so after that i needed to get the baby in the bath (he was covered in food and this nasty smelling oil from the baptism the Deacon smeared all in his hair) so everyone left.
about 2 hours later, dann and i had just put freddie to bed and had cleaned up for the night, when we got a long, angry text from his mother saying they were all upset and my sister in law was crying about how he spoke to her. that if we didn’t want certain things, we needed to make a list and tell everyone and that we could have been a little nicer to them about the cake incident. we embarrassed my sister in law in front of everyone and why did we get him a cake if we weren’t going to give him some…it became a huge thing. dann work up this morning still angry about it. we texted back and forth for a little bit, but everyone still seems very upset.
i don’t really know what to do. dann sort of apologized (they’re really mad at him for how he handled the situation and they think we’re being ridiculous over feeding him some pudding in the cake) but he needs to apologize for how he reacted. however, we’re not getting an apology from them for not asking us first about giving freddie cake and pudding. so we’re kind of at a stalemate. i was planning on going over to my father in laws this afternoon to say goodbye to my sister in law (she’s flying back to florida today and i won’t be seeing her until after she has her baby in November) but now i don’t know. ill probably head over there after freddie gets up and i finish the dishes and take a shower. i need to say goodbye and she’ll want to see freddie one more time before she goes. i just don’t want to rehash this whole thing again and again and again…but i know thats whats going to happen.
such is family drama! i kept telling dann that this is the first of many squabbles we’re going to have with our family about freddie. we better get used to it.
later!
~mana~
Update:
I went over to my in laws yesterday since my sister in law was leaving for the airport. they were upset and gave me their 2 cents about the situation when i got there. i sat and listened and tried to give our side of the story, but the only person who listened really was my sister in law. my father in law basically told me that it’s bullshit they would have to ask us to do anything with our child and he wouldn’t be asking us to do anything. he will not comply with our wishes. my mother in law and sister in law cried and were upset. i apologized for dann’s actions and said i understood how they felt and the whole situation would have been better 1- if someone had asked us first and 2- if dann had been nicer about the whole thing. dann is still upset and his family is still upset with him. they want an apology that i don’t think they’re going to get…dann can be very stubborn. plus he doesn’t feel he needs to. my sister in law’s husband (so i guess he’s my brother in law?) called dann about the whole thing because she was so upset. dann told him that he doesn’t feel he needs to apologize and the only people he needs to worry about are me and freddie. we are the only people he needs to protect. that really upset his family, and rightfully so. now it’s getting even more blown out of proportion. sigh good vibes that this all blows over soon!
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