So, I am fat.
I think I mentioned that. I have a consult today with a bariatric center to discuss weight loss surgery. I’ve been doing research and been active in online support groups and I’m starting to lean toward surgery.
I am starting to see that obesity is a disease, and having surgery is ONE way to help me manage my disease. The surgery not only makes my stomach smaller and able to hold less food but actually removes some hunger hormones like ghrelin to make me less hungry and diminish cravings.
I’ve wrestled with the fact that post-op I WILL have to eat the healthy way I’ve been attempting to do for years: low carb, protein and veggies, small portions, lots of water.
So I kept asking myself: if I can do it after post-op, why can’t I do it now and not have the surgery? Why can I follow an eating plan for a few days (at most) and then plow through huge portions of junk and go right back to where I was? Why can I not consistently stick to a healthy eating plan?
You see, my fear is that I will go through surgery (which is NOT easy) and then a few months or years post-op, I will go right back to my bad habits; and regain it all. What is the “magic bullet” of surgery that prevents that?
From the support groups I’ve read it’s 3 things:
1. Smaller stomach: you just CAN’T hold the amount of food you ate pre-op. After many years, you CAN stretch your smaller stomach to hold a bit more but never back to its full size.
2. Removal of the hormones (mentioned above) that cause my cravings/inability to ever feel full in the first place.
3. Dumping: when you eat sugar or processed carbs or large portions you experience dumping. This is where you feel nauseous, sometimes throw up, get shaky, sweaty, clammy. It feels like you have food poisoning. This can last for a few hours to a few days. This terrifies me. I HATE that feeling. I hate it so much that there are two restaurants (two separate ones) that I got food poisoning from OVER ten years ago and I STILL won’t eat at them even though they have some of my favorite foods. So, for me, the threat of dumping will prevent me from eating the wrong things/huge amounts and/or if I do try to eat the wrong thing in the wrong amounts and experience dumping-I will NEVER do it again.
I do NOT feel like a failure that I have to resort to having my body cut up to lose weight. I do not feel like I am giving up. I feel like....maybe this is what I need. Obesity is a disease. I need to do what I need to do to manage it.
Stay tuned for what I learn at the consult today.
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