“Thank you soooooo much for helping me get advanced on the benchmark test. I’ve never really gotten advanced on one of those Big math tests…Wow!”
This letter, left folded in sixteenths on my classroom keyboard, went on for a whole page. It’s moments like these that keep me in education. So much of my time is wasted with nonsense decisions, road blocks beyond my control, and incessant communication that is often unnecessary. Political bullshit, basically. I have walked up to the brink of quitting many times, and then I have a moment like this. This girl is one of many who are not confident in math. She tells me most days how terrible she is at math and how she’s just stupid. I remind her daily that just because math is hard for her, doesn’t mean she has to be bad at it. So many of our girls are lead down this path. We tell them math is for boys…engineering isn’t ladylike. Girls shouldn’t be good at math. It’s a great privilege to fight this stereotype daily, as a female math/science teacher. And watching one of my girls rise up and conquer that fear of numbers is absolutely invigorating. More importantly, watching her finally trust my words, put 100% into her work, and find true success IS why I teach. She came from a question or two away from FAILING our state test last year, to making advanced on her most recent practice test. I am so incredibly proud of her, and the journey we’ve forged together.
Looking further into the scores of my “Kittens”, as I call them…since it’s like herding cats every day with these squirrely 10 year olds this year…I noticed that every single one of my kids came up, except one. And they came up by A LOT…15-20% better, on average. I had 3 in danger of failing this year, as they’d failed or nearly failed last year, and all 3 are already in the clear. This is a huge relief. I thought for sure these babies weren’t hearing a word I was saying…because they can’t manage their ADDish brains…because we have an oppositional defiant kid in class who vies for the attention of my curriculum regularly....because we chase an autistic child around the room every day as a class to tackle gluesticks out of her hand as she desperately tries to cover herself in glue…because I have to teach things obviously beyond their mental development. But here we are. A successful crew of misfits.
I branched out a lot this year, despite the hindering circumstances of my classroom and my students, and I’d like to think it was ultimately the right choice. I’ve spent hours upon hours re-creating our grade-level math plans to reflect a more project-based environment, a more creatively-lead curriculum, and I think this is the pay off. My kids are learning, despite all odds, and I did the right thing for them. I don’t always get to see the fruits of my labor, but on rare occasions, I get these gems. Today, I get to rest assured that I AM making a difference. It’s a good feeling<3
Loading comments...