Should I Stay Or Should I Go? in Life 2016

I want to isolate myself from everybody. My friends, my family…everybody. I don’t feel depressed. Some may say I seem like I’m in a funk. Well, this funk is who I am. It’s me. Trust me, I’ve been very depressed, suicidal, numb, you name it. I’m not. I’m just a little weird, twisted, fucked-up. But that’s me.
I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I’ve been engaged since October with a man I’ve been with for the past 3 years. He cheated on me a month after my mother died, he’s still married with no motivation to actually get divorced and he’s a fucking child. I can’t get out of my lease yet, so I can’t do much about it now. And I do feel guilty about hurting him. But whatever, that’s a topic for another time.
When my Nana passes, I don’t want to be involved with my family anymore. It sounds harsh. I love my family dearly. I wouldn’t mind talking to them on the phone or something, but for the most part, I want to be left alone. There’s just always so much drama, especially ever since my mother passed. My little sister is dating an alcoholic-junkie-deadbeat and got herself knocked up, my other little sister has an absolutely terrible attitude but that’s because she’s basically taken over the mother role and she’s really stressed, my little brother has been completely acting out and refuses to help out my sister, and my dad is super depressed and doesn’t do anything besides sleep and work (but I don’t blame him, but wish he’d get help or talk to somebody). When my lease is up, I’m moving in with them so I can save up money, but I already know it’s gonna be super stressful, especially moving into all that garbage. But I do feel selfish wanting to just leave because I want to help and make sure my dad is taking care of himself and my siblings, but it’s all too much.
I want to run away. I want to move far away. Just myself and my kitty. Somewhere I’ve never been, where I don’t know anybody, and nobody knows me. Where I have nothing, and have to start fresh. I want an adventure. I just want to go anywhere away from here. Maybe across the county. Or maybe another country all together. I just want to disappear.