It’s been nice being on leave, even though some days i am kinda bored. i should be getting more work done for the upcoming months, but whenever im finally ready to do anything, so is the baby.
currently, hes sleeping. he should be getting up soon to eat and poop and go back to sleep. hes been staying awake for about an hour at a time, sometimes two. night time is still a little difficult. just trying to stay awake to feed him and get him back to sleep is a struggle. hes also been really gassy and fussy in the mornings. today he was spitting up more than usual. im hoping hes not sick…just a lot of crying, spitting up after eating, screaming to eat and only wanting to cuddle on my chest. thats his favorite spot right now…laying on my chest, feeling my heartbeat and my warmth.
the last two days ive been trying to put him down in his bassinet for all naps instead of in the little bouncer seat in the living room. hoping that helps with him self soothing in the middle of the night when we need to go back to sleep. also supplementing some formula at night to help him sleep a little longer and to help with the gas. he also seems to eat better from the bottle, so im trying to pump more and store it for when hes ready to eat and just heat up my breast milk. he has also become a super messy eater this week, so whenever i have breastfed him, im soaked. if there is one thing i really hate, it is wet clothing on my body. and its worse that its from milk from my boobs…dont get me wrong, i think its fascinating i can feed my child from my body, but i dont want it all over me. its surprisingly sticky when it dries.
anyway…ive been tired today. it was a rough night last night and i didnt get much continuous sleep. so today i had every intention of heading out to walgreens earlier to get tape to wrap some gifts, but it didnt happen. by the time i would feed the baby, change him, eat something myself or get myself today, i was exhausted. took a couple of half hour naps when the baby slept. right now i do need to get ready to go…we’re going over to dann’s father’s house to watch captain america and have pizza and visit with the baby. i also just ordered our christmas cards from walgreens and need to go pick them up! plus tape…cant forget tape to wrap the presents…
im not going to be ready to go back to work after the holidays. im just not. i dont want to. i want to stay home with freddie and take care of our house and maybe do some private lessons on dann’s days off. thats it. we were talking last night about jobs and money…apparently my dad was talking to dann about being a pharmacy rep. my dad’s best friend is a pharmacy rep and i think his son is as well (or he was for a short time) and my dad suggested the job. its good money and dann would have an in with steve…we would have to move back upstate though. dann said if he were guaranteed a job with a good salary and it meant we could get out of debt (student loans…theyre a bitch!), he would do it. so…i think dann should call my dad back and see what he can do. i can find a job teaching upstate. i know teachers upstate. i know schools. i know principals. it wouldnt be a problem for me. and even if it took me a little longer to find a job, if dann had a job that was paying much more, i think we’d be ok for a few months. finger crossed that there are some big changes by the end of this school year!
it would stink moving away from our friends, but if it meant we were able to get out of debt, buy a house and live comfortably, then it would be worth it.
sigh i should have done more work today. i started a unit plan yesterday that i didnt finish. granted, i wasnt going to finish it, but i at least wanted the recorder stuff outlined for the whole unit…so much planning! definitely need to buckle down in the next few days and get more plans finished. i’ll be good if i can get my units planned through february. i also really need to keep looking for a new school…just not happy where i am.
alright baby is starting to stir. later!
~mana~
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