I think I gave Megan some helpful advice today. She seemed receptive to it, and that made me happy. She has been talking about getting a job. As she points out, she has plenty of money (I have no idea how true that is), but she feels like she’s being lazy by not doing anything with her time to get paid. She’d been talking about going to strip clubs and escort services and seeing what she could find for employment. I told her I thought she was done with that lifestyle, and she responded that she didn’t know of any other way to make money other than with her body.
This morning she walked in the door around the time I was waking up. She was sweaty and dressed in gym clothes. It’s snowing out, so I knew she must have gone to an actual gym and not been out on the streets. I asked her what she’d been up to and she started describing her crazy workout regimen. I was kind of shocked. She had done so much and it was only 7:30 in the morning. The truth is it takes a lot of work for her to have the flawless body that she does. And I don’t just mean that she’s beautiful (which she is) but that she has no body fat and muscles in all the right places. Her abdomen is rippled. She’s in the kind of shape any of us would give just about anything for (except the kind of effort that it actually takes). She talked about going out for a “quick run” the other day and came back and told me she’d done 12 miles.
So I said to her, “Why don’t you take a class to become a personal trainer?” She looked at me a little dismissive at first, but then I could tell she was really warming up to the idea. She has spent much of this morning researching how she can get certified, and I really feel like I may have helped her see a direction to earn money that doesn’t involve having sex.
Speaking of sex, I was talking to her about all the progress I’m making with my therapist and how good I feel about my commitment to monogamy with Jayson. She responded that if she could commit to monogamy with Lauren they wouldn’t be having all their problems. It dawned on me for the first time ever (for some reason I’d never figured this out before) that she and I struggle with the same demons.
I really didn’t want to ask her about her sex life. I really didn’t. But the question came out anyway. I asked if she was still cheating on Lauren, and she shook her head. She said she hadn’t had sex at all since coming to Boston, and then added that it was really killing her. She said that sometimes she starts trolling the internet for partners and then manages to talk herself out of it. It hurt a little to hear her say that because it sounded so familiar.
I told her I was always there to be supportive. She said that being around my kids and doing wholesome family things with us has really been a help, and I guess I feel good about that. There’s still a part of me that worries about someone with her lifestyle spending too much time around my children.
And speaking of children, I keep in text contact with Rachel mostly these days. I wish we talked on the phone more but it doesn’t happen much. She texted at the beginning of the week about how she and Guy were feeling pretty confident that their current adoption hopes were going to really come true with whatever pregnant girl they were working with. I admit I don’t know how any of that works. But she texted my yesterday again saying she things this time it’s a sure thing. I’m happy for her, she’s been trying for a baby for a long time now and it’s sad how hard it can be for a family to adopt considering how many kids there are out there that need to be adopted.
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