In my last post, I was really down in the dumps. I’m not going to do that thing where I pretend that I was just having a bad day-I was-but I was also being honest. I WAS whining, I’ll own that. But it was how I felt, heck, how I feel.
Nobody can fix it for me, though. Except me. And admitting that feels a lot better than wallowing. I have a choice. I can wallow, if I want to. It’s nobody’s business but mine. Or, I can do my best to fix the problem.
Today was the first day of school and I woke up with a plan. I got up at 6 am and exercised for 45 minutes. This has a few benefits right off the bat. I worked out, which will help me with weightloss. I got up extra early, which will help me with staying up until all hours thinking about how my life sucks, which will ultimately help me be more productive during the day, since I spent way too much time last Fall sitting around sleep deprived, thinking about how much I had to do and pretty much never doing it. And I started my day with two things I never get enough of: water and time to myself. By the time I woke my oldest up for breakfast, I felt great, energized and efficient.
We had a good morning and we were not at all rushed. We had breakfast, we talked about dreams and we were able to get out the door without me telling “Come on, come ON, we’re going to be late!” I dropped the girl off, came home and played with play doh with the 3 year old and worked on letter sounds. Organized some cabinets and played with Legos. Cleaned the bathrooms and had a little helper with a spray bottle of vinegar water and a paper towel. I got more done before noon than I was getting done some entire weeks before Christmas. And I don’t write any of this to sound smug or lime I have all the answers and I’ve just solved it, my life is great, ect. I’m going to have bad days, I know I am. This will fall apart and need to be put back together dozens of times. But I did it. I know what works and I know what won’t. I can do it.
I just have to keep going.
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